Jorge, Luis and Borges…

Today it’s the anniversary of the birth of Jorge Luis Borges. He’d have been 112 today, which is pretty old, even for a writer.

‘Jorge who?’ you ask. ‘And why did he spell his name funny? What’s wrong with George?’ Well, stay calm and I’ll tell you…

Jorge Luis Borges is one of my favourite writers. He became one of my favourite writers when I discovered that he never wrote anything longer than a short story. I was a teenager and here was a man with an attention span similar to mine, I thought. And ooh look, a squirrel!

His stories are wonderful and blow my mind in all kinds of good ways. There are characters who meet themselves from the future but don’t notice; there are priceless objects that are invisible and drive you mad when you drop them and can’t find them again; there are infinite books in which you can never find the same page twice; there are more magical moments in each short story than you find in most full length novels.

Once I was even inspired to write a short story about three brothers called George, Luis and Rob (which is ‘Bor’ backwards) and of course their surname was ‘Ges’. George, Luis and Rob Ges. It was a weird story. You know what? I’ve probably got it here on my computer somewhere, hidden in an old file. I’m going to dig it out. How about I show you the first few paragraphs? It’s going to be a bit rubbish because I wrote it when I was 16, but it is what it is and you might find it interesting…

I’ll paste it at the bottom of this post.

What a writer. What a face.

Oh, also: Novermber 7th to 13th is National Short Story week. You should all read Borges to celebrate. And I’m sure a couple of people I know have short stories being published soon… wait… yes! Ali Sparkes! And… who else? Um… me! But more about that another time. Here’s my 16 year-old self’s attempt at a homage to Borges:

In the first year of my publishing business I spent most of my coffee stained days and nights hunched over my desk in the smallest room in the smallest office building that you can imagine. The company name was printed up on the door and when a train hit the track outside the window I thought I was a private detective. The impression was reinforced by each one of my clients – or potential clients. They slipped into the room with cheap mystery and presented me with a problem, except that I was not supposed to solve the problem, I was being asked to publish it. All I seemed to get were trashy novels and romantic dirges. I knew what fine literature was meant to look like and I knew that even with the most skilful editing in the world, the words I was reading were never going to amount to more than a graveyard of clichés.

            The first time I saw any of the Ges brothers – it was George I met first – I had just been woken by a train from a disturbing dream about dancing rodents. The din of the tracks somehow accentuated George Ges’ skeletal appearance. He was a man who had obviously seen better times. He introduced himself with a voice that sounded like it had crawled out of prison. He looked awful: a skeleton with skin wrapped round it. He featherly placed in front of me his manuscript – a hundred or so scuffed and trodden grey pages torn from all different kinds of notebook. He never referred to it as a manuscript, though; he always talked about it as his ‘fish’. I could never work out why and I didn’t ask him, but for all the time I knew him, he would always talk about ‘my fish’ and ask what we were going to do with his ‘fish’. Maybe I heard him wrong, but it certainly sounded like ‘fish’. I promised to read what he had written and told him to come back the same time the next day.

            The book was amazing. This work which had somehow landed up on my desk defied all conventions of writing and literature of the day. The language and story-telling were as beautiful as Shakespeare, as harsh as Kafka and as inspired as Borges. I turned page after page and only paused when I couldn’t make out certain words due to mud stains or passages where splashes of rain had run all the words together. I had at last seen genius and held it in my hands. I read all through the rest of the day and into the evening, unable to look up from the paper before me, when suddenly it stopped. The train of words which had held me stiff in my chair for so many hours hit the end of a page in the middle of a sentence and did not continue. Had the pages run out? Had I dropped or mislaid the rest of the book? Was this just to tease me? To provoke my interest and raise the price I was prepared to pay? As I turned to begin reading the words again from the start, a shadow appeared in the doorway.

            When Louis Ges walked in I thought George Ges had returned early, dressed as a priest…

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See The Universe For Free

If you haven’t already caught the Out of This World exhibition at London’s British Library, you’ve only a few weeks left: it finishes on Sept 25th.

The exhibition presents beautiful and rare editions of a host of wonders from the history of SF, together with perceptive commentary, author interviews and all manner of other imagination-expanding goodies. There’s even the chance to design and display your own alien, and see the designs of other visitors. On the subject of aliens, I was particular taken with these dudes:

‘The Tree People of Nazar’ as depicted in ‘Niels Klim’s Underground Journey’ by Ludvig Holberg, 1789

…Though these guys are pretty handsome too:

‘Distant descendants of bats, fifty million years hence’ as depicted in ‘After Man’ by Dougal Dixon, 1981

I emerged inspired, having discovered a stack of classic SF to catch up on – just in time to meet a terrific selection of modern editions in the Library’s shop. But the exhibition itself is FREE, and there’s nothing stopping you making a list of books to order from your local public library. ;D

Visiting this exhibition and my reading since have been two of the absolute best things about my summer so far. If you’re in or near London and you haven’t been yet, don’t wait any longer.

Sam

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Welcome to Gotham City

Just a quick post and a link from me today, aimed at fans of the DC Comics character, Batman. I stumbled upon this great blog post about Batman’s home city, Gotham, which even includes a map showing all the major locations from the comic.

Want to know how to get from Arkham Asylyum to Crime Alley where Bruce Wayne’s parents were killed? Now you can. Click on the map below to go take a look at the original blog post.

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Review: UNDEAD by Kirsty McKay

First up, the official blurb:

It was just another school trip… When their ski-coach pulls up at a cafe, and everyone else gets off, new girl Bobby and rebel Smitty stay behind. They hardly know each other but that changes when through the falling snow, they see the others coming back. Something has happened to them. Something bad…

Soon only a pair of double doors stand between those on the bus and their ex-friends the Undead outside. Time to get a life. Author Kirsty McKay is a major new horror/thriller writer for ages 12+.

There, now that’s out of the way, let’s get on with the review.

Let’s face it, we’re all in love with zombies. From Night of the Living Dead to World War Z, we can’t get enough of those ugly, brain-munching monstrosities. Hell, even my own comic series, Gangrene, politely tips its hat to decades of zombie lore.

But what of this latest entry in the zombie stable? Kirsty McKay’s Undead is a young adult horror in which a group of teenagers find themselves caught up in a full-scale Z-Pocalypse. Thrown together, the teens must learn to overcome their differences if they are to have any chance of surviving and finding out who – or what – is responsible for the onslaught of the living dead.

So far, so familiar, and this is the problem with the book in general. We’ve seen it all before.

The teenagers are little more than stereotypes – the bitchy good-looking girl, the computer geek, the handsome rebel with a heart of gold, they’re all here. The protagonist, Bobby, is new to the school. Having moved from the US, she feels like an outsider, but watching your former classmates become zombies turns out to be quite the bonding experience, and soon she is more or less leading the group in their attempts to survive.

The zombie scenes are effective enough – no more, no less. There are scenes you’ll have seen in almost every living dead film ever – the blood-streaked hand at the window, the hordes of zoms shuffling along the moonlit road – but it is all handled reasonably well so that you don’t ever quite become bored.

In fact, I found myself sitting up well into the night reading the book, which is more a testament to McKay’s writing than to the concept itself. Occasionally I found some of the dialogue a bit clunky – particularly Alice, the bitchy blonde – but other than that this is a well-written story and a quick read. That said, the twist at the end of the story is actually a massive coincidence that I don’t remember being foreshadowed at any point prior to it happening, which was disappointing.

I can’t help but wonder how good the story could have been if it had a unique hook, like Charlie Higson’s The Enemy series, for example. As it is, this book almost reads like a checklist of what you’d expect in any other zombie story. Brain-eating monsters? Check. New fangled viruses? Check. Conspiracy theories? Shady corporations? ‘Heroic’ characters meeting a grisly doom? Check, check and check. Without a unique hook it’s a book that will likely only appeal to existing fans of the zombie genre, and they’re going to have seen it all before.

Yes, the protagonist is female (Bobby is short for Roberta) but that isn’t enough to make this sufficiently different from virtually every other zombie tale we’ve seen in the past. On the Romero scale, it’s nowhere near as good as Dawn of the Dead, say, but it’s no Land of the Dead, either. It’s Day of the Dead – solid enough, with some memorable scenes, but ultimately not as good as what’s come before.

On the other hand, maybe I’m just old and jaded, and this might turn out to be the perfect introduction to the genre for those who haven’t yet dipped their toes into zombie horror.

Undead is published by Chicken House on 1st September 2011.

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One Sweet Piece of Genius

Do you like pirates? Do you think the ‘Caribbean flicks were a bit… disappointing? Then look this way: One Piece by writer/artist Eiichiro Oda will shiver your timbers

Monkey D. Luffy (above, centre) is determined to be the greatest pirate the world has ever seen. Another person might see having no ship, no crew, and no discernible talent for seamanship as fairly serious obstacles to that ambition, but for indomitable optimist Luffy they’re just details: he’s going to sail the famously fatal Grand Line and capture the fabled treasure the “One Piece” – and nothing and no one will stop him.

Apart from a rowboat, a cool straw hat and his own near-suicidal enthusiasm Luffy’s got one more thing going for him: after eating the fruit of the Gum-Gum tree, his body has some unusual powers

It would take a flinty-hearted reader indeed to fail to be charmed by One Piece: it’s very silly, sure, but it’s also warm, funny, imaginative and stuffed to the gunwales with wild action and brilliant characters.

Take Roanoa Zolo, glimpsed here (above) demonstrating his astonishing three sword technique - or Nami (below, far right) the wonderfully amoral thief: she’s as likely to rob Luffy as help him. Best of all, take Luffy himself. He got my full support in Volume 1 as soon as I saw him punch a sea-monster – but now, five vols in as I am, I’m starting to think he’s one of the most charismatic protagonists I’ve ever come across.

As if all that wasn’t enough, the volumes I’ve read included awesome bonus features like sketches, interviews, colouring-in pages and models to cut out or copy.

Is One Piece this much fun over the whole of its sixty-two (so far) volumes? I aim to find out. Meantime I’d recommend One Piece to anyone. A big thank you to Omid at The Big Green Bookshop for doing so for me. :D

My manga marathon goes on. More soon.

Sam

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Submitting Your Manuscript

Recently, I received an email from a Scream Street reader called Emily.  She asked a very important question…

Dear Tommy,
                 It’s me again, Emily. I’ve written to you before and sent you a picture and I said I wanted to be an author when I grew up? I’m sorry to bother you again, but I’m typing out my book at the moment. The books are a series. So far, there are eight book, and I am nearly finished the ninth. I turned 15 two months ago, and have begun typing out the first book. The books are all written out by hand in A5 copies. But I’m not sure how to go about typing them out.
The books are in the fantasy/adventure genre. I’m pitching it to be for age 9+ readers.
When typing out the books, before sending them to publishers, can you give me some tips? I’d like to know things like, what font size should I use? Also, I have pictures in the books. When adding in the pictures, should I simply leave gaps in the text? The book is a series, so should I send off ALL the books, typed out as manuscripts, or should I just send off the first and see what they think?
I really, really value your thoughts! Thank you very, very much!

Yours sincerely,
Emily,
Ireland.

Formatting your manuscript is something you should strive to get right – but not obsess over. Here’s what I said to Emily in my reply…

Hi Emily

Thanks for your email – and a great question!  Many, many people who want to be authors simply ignore the important aspect for how to format their work before sending it to publishers – and they’re always rejected as a result.  It doesn’t take much effort to format correctly, but it puts you in the top 10% of submissions.

Here’s what to do…

Type everything double-spaced (i.e. there will be a blank line between each line of text).

Use a simple font, size 12.  I always use Arial, but some other writers use Courier or Times New Roman.  Just don’t pick anything fancy.  

Make sure there’s around an inch of white space on all four sides on your page.

Put your name and contact details on the title page, along with the word count.  On every other page, put your name and the book title in the header, and the page number in the footer.  This will help put things back in order if any of the pages get separated.

When printing your manuscript off, only ever use plain, white paper and print on one side of the page only.  Don’t bind your manuscript together in any way – no paperclips, no fasteners, nothing.  If you really need a way to keep the pages together, put a single elastic band around the manuscript.  Don’t try to make a cover for your manuscript, or include anything else other than the printed pages and a cover letter.  Some new writers send pictures or photographs or even gifts – but all that does is mark you out as an amateur.  Act professionally, and you’ll be treated that way.

Choose which publishers you contact carefully.  Sending your science-fiction novel to a publisher that only produces cook books or romance stories is just a waste of time.  Check publisher’s websites to see what type of books they publish.

Each publisher has  different instructions on what to send them.  Some of them just want a letter introducing your book for series in the first instance, others want a letter and the first three chapters.  Always check first.  Many of them will say what to send on their website but, if not, you can write or call to ask.  Then, if the publisher wants to see the finished book, they’ll ask for it.  never just send in the whole book (unless that’s what the publisher asks for).  In the case of a series, you can mention the other books in the covering letter.  Again, if the publisher wants to read them, they’ll ask.

At first – you will be rejected.  Everyone is.  I have two filing cabinets of rejection letters -  but you have to keep writing and keep submitting.  Never give up, keep writing, and you’ll get there.

Hope that helps!

Best wishes

Tommy

How are you formatting your manuscripts?

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You hum it, I’ll play it.

 

I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks so will leave you with this piece of a/w I did today for a friend. A sort of request. I’m not sure what it means, but it’ll play me out as I pack my bag and jump on a plane.

Of course, when I say holiday, I actually mean a different corner of the cave where I can sit on an old piece of newspaper away from The Pit. (Don’t ask).

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Robots of Brixton

Robots of Brixton from Kibwe Tavares on Vimeo.

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Angel vs Demon

I recently started a new sketchbook with this image.

Within pages this happened.

It wasn’t long before all hell broke loose.

There’s a story in this somewhere. I like drawing these buffoons.

Watch this space…

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I want a new bookcase …

And I would like it to be just like this one, please!

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