Proof, if proof were needed, that the creatures in here enjoy books from an early age. This was one of Tommy’s I think. Apparently his books are among their favourites: pleasantly chewable and easy on the digestion.
Not For The Squeamish
Three quick things. First, here’s a link to a piece I wrote for the website of SFX Magazine listing my current Top Ten Favourite Horror Books and Films.
Second, here’s Play With Spider, a jolly little 3D Flash animation that’s fairly self-explanatory. Lead your furry friend by the movement of your mouse, by leaving out juicy flies to munch or (if you prefer) by dragging the poor beast around by a leg. I especially recommend the Options button: adjusting the spider’s scale and ‘leg bounce’ are particularly satisfying. ;D
Third thing… THIS.
Next week – Friday the 23rd of April – I’m to be freed from the caves, for one night only, for a triple bill of chills with fellow horror authors William (WITCHFINDER) Hussey and Steve (CHANGELING) Feasey. It’s THE HACKNEY HORROR SHOW and it’s FREE. Hope you can make it: we’ll be pleased to eat, I mean meet you. Click the link for all the details.
Sam
The Unspeakable Horror! Episode 2, by Andy Briggs
THE UNSPEAKABLE HORROR!
a Trapped By Monsters story
with art by David Melling
(for Episode 1, click here)
Episode 2, by Andy Briggs
The grater made a SCUNCH sound across the hard cheese that set my teeth on edge, like nails drawn across slate. That was why I didn’t hear the voice the first time.
‘Guys? I’m out!’ It was Sam’s voice drifting from the tunnel. A tunnel I knew he shouldn’t… couldn’t be in. That tunnel snaked upwards to freedom.
MMMUURRRP? Grumbled Alan, the twelve-armed monstrosity, as he shifted position. His three ears suddenly pricked up. Had he heard Sam? I felt a rush of nervous excitement. If Sam was out… could he free me? I earnestly began grating to mask any further sounds. Alan relaxed back as I shaved the layers of crusty cheese from his armpits. I had been doing this for the past week. It was the first time I’d discovered the cheese sandwiches they’d been feeding us had never been near a cow.
I kept one nervous eye on the door. It was unlocked. The monsters seldom bolted the doors if they were in the room with a captive author. They knew we wouldn’t dare run.
Until now.
During our occasional surface visits, for events and signings, we had all built up a mental map of the caves. The problem was, we all knew slightly different parts of the map. If we were going to escape from the caves it was all… or none.
A shadow crossed the ill-fitting gap between the door and frame as Sam’s voice whispered: ‘Anything, um, anybody in there?’
I dug the grater in extra-hard to mask the noise. Too hard. Alan squealed like a pig in a helium factory as the rusty blades dug into his slimy flesh and drew blood. Well, I assumed it was blood; it could well have been puss. Either way, Alan was furious and in great pain. The skin around Alan’s arm gave a rubbery snap and the entire limb plashed to the floor where it flopped like a fish, before dissolving into a puddle of gunk.
Alan flailed his remaining eleven appendages and shrieked an octave higher. In a desperate bid for freedom I raked the grater across the beast’s cheese encrusted stomach just as Sam opened the door.
‘I’m here to rescue –!’
Alan exploded in a mass of grey gunge that tasted vaguely fishy. The shockwave flung me into Sam – and we both collapsed in the corridor, covered head-to-toe in slime. But that didn’t stop us from dancing a mad jig on the spot as we giggled manically – we’d done it! Freedom lay ahead if we could only free our fellow authors! A dozen metres up the sloping tunnel lay another cell door and that’s where we headed as fast as we could.
Then we heard a noise like a cat being sawn in half with an elastic band – it was an alarm. The monsters knew we were out…
PSP COMICS
I just received this cool poster for my graphic novel RITUAL – which is now available on Sony’s PSP, along with hundreds of other DIGITAL COMICS!
If you are a PSP owner you can check it all out here – be warned though, RITUAL is not suitable for younger, and squeamish readers!
Zombie Cake!
I just had to share these uber-cool ZOMBIE CAKES with you guys!
Check out the original article on BOINGBOING
The Unspeakable Horror! Episode 1, by Sam Enthoven
THE UNSPEAKABLE HORROR!
a Trapped By Monsters story
with art by David Melling
(for the closest you’ll get to an explanation of what follows, click here)
Episode 1, by Sam Enthoven
‘Nails!’ barked the Grutler, giving the rusty pliers he carried a meaningful snip.
‘I’m trying!’ I sobbed back.
‘Nails! Now! Or Grutler takes your toes!‘
The Grutler’s visits began right after we were captured. Every night, without mercy, he came to each of us in our cells, demanding his strange tribute. Now, after over a year of our captivity, his sock of authors’ toenail clippings was almost full.
What did he want them for? For what unspeakable purpose could the Grutler possibly be doing this? Whatever the reason, my nails just couldn’t grow fast enough to satisfy him: they were clipped back to the quick, the skin cracked and bleeding. Still, bravely sniffing back a tear from the pain, I dug the surgical steel scissors in harder and squeezed.
SNAP! A razor-sharp fragment of the nail of my right big toe flew through the air… and into the Grutler’s eye.
‘AAAAAAGH!’ roared the Grutler, dropping his pliers.
‘Sorry!’ I said.
‘AAAAAAAAAAAGH!’ The Grutler clapped both hands over his injured eyeball, but I couldn’t help noticing the gouts of pale slime that appeared to be squirting rhythmically from between his fingers. I was still staring in horrified fascination as the Grutler fell to the pit floor, shuddered once, then was still.
Oh dear. One of our monster jailers lay dead – by my hand (or, um, toe).
‘Guys?’ I tried to keep the panic out of my voice as I called for my author colleagues in their cells. ‘Guys? I’ve got a bit of a problem here!’
Would the other authors leave me alone to suffer whatever dreadful retribution was in store for me when the Grutler’s body was discovered? Or had the time at last come for us to stand together, team up and make a break for freedom?
TAKE ME BACK TO THE CHASE…
RE-READING a book you loved as a child is always a bit scary. Will it be as good as you remember? Lots of them stood the test of time while I was re-reading them to my sons – like Norman Hunter’s The Homemade Dragon or Anthony Buckeridge’s Jennings books.
But Brendon Chase meant SO much to me, growing up, that I bought the book and then waited about three years before I had the nerve to return to its much loved chapters. I was staggering through a nasty virus in February when I finally gave in and started reading it again.
And it was fabulous. 
As Philip Pullman writes in his foreword, this is a book that could not be written today. It’s outrageously politically incorrect. Its three heroes shoot cute furry animals and collect bird’s eggs for a start. To eat – not for fun – but even so… John, Robin and Edward run off to fend for themselves in Brendon Chase – a vast woodland some miles from their stifling home with a maiden aunt. BB – the author – (a country gentleman who preferred to be known by those initials) describes the natural world with such staggering depth that you can pretty much smell it and feel it under foot. It’s a rough nature too, with life and death in all its loveliness and dread – but utterly absorbing.
I don’t go for excessive description in adventure stories but in Brendon Chase the natural world is the adventure, from the blissful dips in the Blind Pool to a death defying tree climb for a prized egg. And anyone who has read the Shapeshifter series (Going To Ground in particular) will see how thoroughly influenced I was by this writer. There is even a chapter called Going To Ground! I had forgotten about that.
Modern fiction is brilliant (you’ve only to flick through the works of my talented fellow captives to see that) but every so often you should give yourself a different kind of treat and try out a classic. If you’re a girl who loves relationship stories go for What Katy Did or Anne of Green Gables – and if you’re a boy (or a girl who thinks a bit like one) go for Brendon Chase. You’ll love getting lost in the woods…
Witchfinder Review and Competition!
Back in December 2009, I attended an author event in Newcastle City Library. There were a number of publishers there, all talking about their upcoming projects, and bigging them up to anyone who’d listen.
One of the projects which was enjoying an enormous amount of bigging up from its publisher, was the Witchfinder series by William Hussey. It was, we were assured by the speaker from Oxford University Press, a masterpiece, and one of the best children’s horror novels ever written.
William Hussey was there at the event, looking mildly embarrassed by the gushing praise being heaped upon his book. And rightly so, I thought. How could a book possibly live up to such hype?
Three months later, I read the first book in the series – Dawn of the Demontide – and what I will say is this:
The hype was right.
The book is a dark urban fantasy/horror, about a gate, some demons, ancient guardians, and a boy named Jake. It opens with a child being sacrificed, and things get steadily worse (or better, depending on your point of view) from there.
The story concerns a mystical doorway, behind which lurks an army of savage demons. Every twenty-five years a sacrifice must be made to keep the door closed. The last sacrifice was twenty-five years ago, and fifteen-year-old Jake Harker’s world is about to be turned upside down.
If you think you’ve heard of similar plots before, that’s because you may well have. Sealing doorways to the underworld using the blood of the innocent is an age-old plot device, but I don’t recall a time it was ever done as well as it is here. Besides, these are just the broad strokes of the book. It is in the detail that Hussey’s writing shines.
Filled with fantastically developed characters, thrilling situations, and enough heart-stopping scares to . . . um . . . stop a heart, Witchfinder: Dawn of the Demontide is a must read for fans of horror or urban fantasy. Find out more at the official website – WitchfinderBooks.co.uk
To celebrate the book being so flippin’ ace, we’ve managed to bag a copy to give away. To be in with a chance of winning, all you have to do is answer the following question.
Q. In the film, The Wizard of Oz, after the house falls on the Wicked Witch, the Munckins sing: Ding Dong! The Witch is …
A) Dead
B) Norwegian
C) Under a house
Send you answer, along with your name and email address to barry@trappedbymonsters.com.
Good luck!
