Just when you thought it was safe to go on a school trip to the theatre, Sam Enthoven comes along and creeps you out!!! I will be checking the back of my neck at regular intervals next time I’m in an auditorium.

CRAWLERS, published a few weeks back, has been sitting on my shelf for a little while, in Uncorrected Proof form, and last week I finally got around to reading it. FAST! Be warned. If you’re going to read CRAWLERS, set aside some time because you will not want to stop. Two long train journeys zipped by in no time as I tore through this story.

It grabs you as effectively as one of the thousands of slimy walking-hand-like spidery things that’s out to possess the world on behalf of a sinister queen bee-like creature, brooding for centuries beneath London’s Barbican theatre complex. The crawlers begin with an entire audience for a Shakespeare play. Yum! It’s a brilliant idea, very well set up, fast paced, scary, gruesome and edge of the seat… but where Sam also really shines is in his instinctive understanding of teenagers and their relationships with each other.

His snippy, spiteful girls and his arrogant, elitist boys clash in a very believable way – and his more sympathetic characters really do start to make you care. In fact, even the less engaging ones do as the story moves along.

I always think a good book shines by staying in your head for weeks, months, even years afterwards. I find myself going back to the action in Crawlers, pondering it and wondering where the whole premise might yet lead. And wondering exactly what it is that Sam has against the Barbican…

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Last one of these tree drawings for now…probably.

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THE UNSPEAKABLE HORROR!

a Trapped By Monsters story

with art by David Melling

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3

‘Um… are you sure this is strictly necessary?’

Gavin the Awful stopped half-way across the cave, and turned his misshapen body towards me. With a hiss, he stuck out his fat, yellow tongue. Attached to the end was a bulbous, bloodshot eyeball. It glared at me, before vanishing back inside his mouth.

‘It’s just that I don’t even like eating Marmite,’ I continued. I was flat on my back, strapped to a hard wooden board. ‘So, you know, I’m not sure I feel entirely comfortable bathing in it.’

‘Not bathing,’ hissed Gavin, hobbling closer. He popped the lid off another Marmite jar, and began smearing the thick, dark sludge over my face. ‘Basting.’ He pointed a clawed finger towards his bloated stomach. ‘Yum yum.’

‘Oh, so you’re going to eat me!’ I cried. I raised my head and looked down at the rest of me. I was wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy swimming trunks and a string vest, both of which Gavin had supplied. Every exposed part of my skin was coated with layer upon layer of Marmite. ‘D’you know,’ I said, ‘that almost comes as a relief?’

There was a crash as Gavin let yet another empty jar fall to the floor. ‘Need more,’ he growled. Once again the eye popped out of his mouth. It stared at me long and hard. ‘Watching you,’ he said, dragging his deformed frame towards the door. ‘Don’t go nowhere.’

The cell door gave a low, ominous creeeeeak as Gavin pulled it open. Grunting, he squeezed himself through the gap. I heard him set off towards the pantry, panting, wheezing and farting every step of the way.

A moment later, three familiar faces appeared around the edge of the open door. ‘Come on, we’re breaking out,’ Ali announced, hurriedly. ‘We’re . . .’ Her voice trailed off as she, Andy and Sam looked me up and down.

‘That’s not … that’s not poo, is it?’ asked Sam.

‘No. Marmite.’

Ali shuddered. ‘That’s even worse!’ she said. ‘Now come on, we’re getting out of here – right now!’

Click here for Episode Five, by Mark Robson

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As anyone familiar with Tim, Defender of the Earth will know, I’m a MASSIVE fan of giant monsters. Imagine my delight this week when I discovered this site full of beautiful haiku about Godzilla and other classic kaiju.

Warren Ellis (on whose wonderful swear-filled blog I found the link) was particularly taken with this one:

But my current favourite is this:

While I’m linking to stuff, here’s my page on a new site called Author Hotline. There’s a whole bunch of other authors on there too – including my fellow TBM victims Andy Briggs, Mark Robson and Joe Craig – all answering questions such as ‘What were you like at school?’ ‘What strange habits do you have?’ and ‘What’s your favourite food?’ Take a look.

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I’ve been trying to get through more of the backlog of messages from readers lately. Some people have been waiting for a reply from me for a really long time – sorry! I’ll get there in the end.

Just thought I’d share a couple of fun ones with you.

First of all, I’m a big fan of the girl who wrote to let me know that she’s working on a story of her own. Apparently it’s about a‘hunted house’. Looking forward to hearing how that turns out and whether the house gets away in the end.

And then there’s Kasper. Yup, Kasper’s back. For those who don’t remember, a few weeks ago Kasper was a big hit at one of my events when he became part of the show and created a new format for entertainment: Questions with Kasper.

Well, he’s been in touch to warn me about a world disaster. It might be real, but then again it might be something based on the story ideas he and his classmates came up with at my event.

He now calls himself the Comedy Billionaire, which is, if you ask me, a brilliant showbiz name. He should trademark it immediately. And he says:

This is an emergency joe!

The assasins have taken over earth and one fried egg has been stolen! who can save us now?

Oh yes!

The fist granny!

she also needs help from monkey, SHERLOCK HOLMES, and whatever the last one is.

I sent him the only possible outcome of the situation, the way I see it:

Who can save us!?!? Disaster! It must be the granny with the tiny fists! She has knitted a new hat for Sherlock Holmes to wear in the fight against catastrophe but it’s too big! It’s come down over Sherlock’s eyes and he can’t see a thing! Take it off Sherlock, you fool! But he can’t – it’s raining and the water has shrunk the wool that the hat is made from. Now he’s trapped inside his own hat. Granny is waving her fists around to try to help, but they’re too small and she can’t grip Sherlock’s head because it’s swelling up bigger and bigger inside the hat. That’s what rain and wool do to the heads of great detectives. It’s a well known FACT!

It’s possible that I might now see why it takes me so long to reply to everybody.

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Joe Craig, Kasper

The first book in this series, Gone, by Michael Grant was my favourite book of last year. This second episode was nearly as good as the first. It didn’t have the same ‘Wow’ factor as the first, as all of the main ideas had been pretty well established in the first book, but once again I found myself quickly drawn into the tiny world of the FAYZ (Fallout Alley Youth Zone) and the plight of its inhabitants. Set three months after the events of book one, the children have now all but run out of food and are beginning to starve – hence the title. Tensions run deep as the young people try to stay alive. The writing in this book is as gripping as it was in the first and I skipped through this fairly weighty tome in just two days – great fun.

My main observations on Hunger are:

1. Read Gone first. This book could stand alone, but you would miss a huge chunk of important back story.

2. The ending in this book felt weaker than the first and a little bit rushed. It wasn’t a bad ending, but the story suffered a little from ‘middle book syndrome’. How do you effectively write a story that is self contained and yet fits neatly between other stories? It’s not easy, and Michael Grant has done a pretty good job of it, but I’m hoping that he won’t try to drag the series out too long. The setting for this is brilliant, but I’d like to see him head towards a conclusion.

I highly recommend this series as a gripping read for both girls and boys who like action/thrillers and don’t mind a touch of science fiction. It is right up there at the top of my recent recommends list for 12+ readers.

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Ever wondered where trees keep their personal things? In their draws of course!

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My two little tinkers Monika and Luka helped me out during a recent Hugless Douglas event at the wonderful Mostly Books in Abingdon.

The idea, after reading the picture book, was to make a 2D / 3D version of the character using whatever came to hand. Great fun! Thank you to Mark and Nikki Thornton for their unwavering support for me and all authors, far and wide. They always go that extra mile to make their bookshop such a welcoming place for all ages. It’s no surprise they were nominated for the Independent Bookshop of the Year.

To read more about the event check out their blog:  Mostly Books blog

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Found myself passing Little Russell Street in London the other day (2 minutes from The British Museum), and popped in to see this wonderful exhibition by surely the king of the satirical pen Ronald Searle. He has just had his 90th birthday. It is a little sad that, apart a small handful of articles and a short, but entertaining TV interview (part of the exhibition), this momentous event seems to have been largely overlooked in this country. Sad, because he has been one of the most influential cartoonist for the past 70 odd years across such a wide spectrum of artists and cartoonist the world over. I’m not one to rant, so I won’t, other than to say he deserves better from the country in which he was born.

But hey, enough said. Do go and see it if you get a chance. Well worth it!

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