I found this on my drawing board this morning.

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Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m a MASSIVE fan of Doctor Who – and not just the TV series; I’m also into the audio adventures, comic strips and, of course, the novels.  And Doctor Who novels don’t come much better than David LLewellyn’s Night of the Humans.

Landing on a hunk of space junk known at The Gyre, The Doctor and Amy find themselves in the midst of a disagreement between the dolphin like Sittuun and an encampment of humans who believe they are are the chosen few allowed to live on Earth.  Captured by the savage humans, The Doctor is going to have a hard time convincing his prison guards that they’re really on a galactic junkyard about to be incinerated by a flaming comet.

Packed with dialogue that really beings the 11th Doc and Amy to life, this adventure is one not to be missed by casual fans and Whovians alike.

Tommy

The last few weeks, it’s fair to say, have been quite hectic. As well as a rather stressful cave move, which saw me shifting my few remaining belongings along several miles of dark, cramped tunnels until I reached my new cell, I appeared at two different book festivals on the same weekend.

Provided you count Friday as a weekend day. Which I do. So there.

On Friday 13th of August – yes, FRIDAY 13th – I appeared at Eden Court theatre as part of the Inverness Book Festival. This was my first ever festival appearance, and I was really pleased that it was at my ‘local’ festival up in the Highlands. As well as my usual trick of rambling on for an hour talking rubbish, I incorportated a new bit into my event. A poor, unwitting soul was selected from the audience, then dressed up as Caddie, the villain of my second Invisible Fiends book, Raggy Maggie. Then, after the ‘volunteer’ (and I use that term loosely) was revealed in all her full horrific horror, she helped me with the reading, by being the voice of Caddie in the story.

Here’s the Inverness Caddie – the lovely Rachel – in her costume and make-up, which was hastily applied by her mum:

On Saturday, I made the trip to Edinburgh, where I was taken out for dinner by the lovely people at HarperCollins Children’s Books. At the dinner I met Garth Nix, Darren Shan and his partner, Bas, and Louise Rennison, none of whom I’d met before. It was a great night, and the meal was flippin’ lovely, too, after having eaten nothing but Snotgrump’s ‘arm bogeys’ for weeks.

The following day, I made my first appearance at the Edinburgh International Book Festival. It was all a bit nerve-wracking, but it went quite well (I think!). This time, I didn’t just get someone dressed up as Caddie. I went one better than that…

Here we have Maria as Mr Mumbles, and Henry as Caddie. Both of them were great sports, and their performances really made the audience laugh. Or maybe they were so terrified they were hysterical. Either way, they were making a lot of noise.

So, that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Now the festivals are over (until Fife next month, at least) I should have more time to blog here. I’ll also soon be offering you the chance to bag yourself a sticker like the one below. More details soooooon…

Yes. It’s true. I was given a pass recently by the monsters for good behaviour (writing a nice monster into my next book – he’s a veloceraptor called Nipper!) for a couple of weeks in the sun with my family. We went to the Algarve in Portugal, but even there I could not escape the eyes of the monsters. They were everywhere. Take a look at these chaps lurking in the sand…

I’d be a bit disturbed if this spider turned up in my bath…

And this dragon looks pretty mean, too…

And as for the dinosaurs… *shudders*

A little bit of news for any Scream Street fans in the Emerald Isle…

I’m going to be at the Mountains to Sea Book Festival in Dún Laoghaire next month and, as part of the fun, you can now book a place at the Monster Mountains to Sea Author Lunch.  A barrel full of top children’s authors will be present (and me as well!), each hosting a table for young readers and book fans!  Plus, as if fighting us for the last cheese sandwich wasn’t enough, you can hear us all talk about our favourite novels, get copies of your favourite books signed, ask us burning questions, and much, much more!

The authors hosting tables will include: Sarah Webb, fellow captive Niamh Sharkey, P J Lynch, Gordon Snell, Mary Murphy, Tommy Donbavand, Judi Curtin, Joe O’Brien, Don Conroy, Marita Conlon McKenna, Sarah Rees Brennan, Claire Hennessy, Oisin McGann – and perhaps more!

Check out this page for details: Monster Author Lunch

Tommy

The Big Issue in Scotland recently asked a bunch of children’s authors (is ‘bunch’ the right collective noun for children’s authors?  Maybe it should be a library of children’s authors?  Or a chapter?  Sorry, I digress…)

The Big Issue in Scotland recently asked a chapter of children’s authors (myself included) to name some of the books we feel kids ought to read if they are to develop an early love of the written word.  I’m a little late posting the results as they were announced at the start of the holidays, but here are…

You can see that I got to stick my oar in regarding Artemis Fowl and Mr Gum, although I heartily recommend every title that made the final list.

1. THE LION,  THE WITCH AND THE  WARDROBE
CS Lewis

No one can forget how they felt when they read of Lucy’s first steps into the enchanting world of Narnia, clambering into that wardrobe and seeing the lamppost in the snow. With the White Witch’s “always winter, never Christmas” motto, CS Lewis tugged at the heartstrings of children the world over. Many credit the books as the source of their passion for reading; generations of writers have been inspired by Lewis’ work.

Anthony Horowitz, Creator of the Alex Rider books
How awful it would be to think that Narnia only exists in the minds of Disney and Walden Media. Reading opens doors… and none more magical than the wardrobe door that takes the Pevensie kids on their first adventure.

John Fardell, Edinburgh-based children’s author and contributor to Viz
This is the first book I remember sitting up late in bed to finish. CS Lewis draws you into his world of Narnia and makes you want to be there.

JD Irwin, Author of Edwin Spencer Mission Improbable
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was the book that turned me into a reader. With big themes but plenty of gentle humour, it’s a classic good versus evil series.

Gemma Malley, Journalist-turned teen sci-fi writer
A timeless classic, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is a wonderful fantasy that can’t fail to enchant

Eoin McNamee, Author of The Ring of Five
The Lion, the Witch and The Wardrobe by CS Lewis is an obvious choice, but unparalleled – the feel of the furs in the wardrobe turning into pine branches, the sudden feel of snow under the feet, the lone lamppost in the forest…

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2. TINTIN
Hergé

Whether involved in a mystery, a political thriller or a good old-fashioned swashbuckling adventure, stories of Hergé’s young Belgian reporter Tintin are a delight to read. The comic books have sold more than 200 million copies worldwide, and are sure to enjoy another surge in sales alongside Steven Spielberg’s upcoming Hollywood adaptation.

Peter Cocks (aka Will Peterson), TV writer on Maid Marian and Her Merry Men
I was addicted to the Tintin books throughout my childhood. I loved the stories, the fantastic pictures and Tintin’s stern, moral compass. He was a role model, right down to his quiff… and I would also tuck my trousers into my socks to emulate the boy detective. If I had to pick a favourite it would be King Ottokar’s Sceptre. No… The Crab with the Golden Claws… or Cigars of the Pharaoh…

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3. MOOMINS
Tove Jansson

Tove Jansson’s Moomins are iconic children’s characters. Living in their blueberry windmill down in Moomin Valley, there is no end to the enjoyment to be had reading about their tranquil lives and madcap friendships. Parents will enjoy the charming stories of Moominmamma, Moominpappa, Snufkin and the Snork Maiden every bit as much as their kids will.

Rupert Kingfisher, Author of the Madame Pamplemousse series
I loved Moominland Midwinter – the story of Moomintroll waking to find himself alone one dark midwinter when the rest of his family are hibernating. The Moomintroll books are unique in children’s literature

Debi Gliori, Author of No Matter What
Comet in Moominland. Apart from this being one of the best books of all time, it’s my top book to take to a desert island.

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4. THE HOBBIT
JRR Tolkien

This is where it all began. It was with The Hobbit that JRR Tolkien introduced the world to hobbits and the Shire, to Gandalf and Middle-Earth, and to Gollum and the Ring. An adventure tale that continues to define the children’s fantasy genre, The Hobbit deserves to be enjoyed by all.

Debi Gliori
This can be a struggle – the language takes no prisoners and the plot develops slowly – but the rewards are colossal. What an epic story, exquisitely crafted, in an imagined world so real you could taste it. Plus, when you’re 11, you’ll be meeting plenty orcs, trolls and dragons at high school, so the sooner you learn about their nastiness, the better.

AG Taylor, Author of Meteorite Strike
Giant spiders, riddles in the dark and a dragon – what more could you want from an adventure?

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5. TOM’S MIDNIGHT GARDEN
Philippa Pearce

While staying at his aunt’s house, Tom discovers a secret garden occupied by ghostly children and befriends Hatty, a lonely child who grows significantly older or younger every time he enters the garden. Philippa Pearce’s second book is one of the most famous literary experiments with time.

Julia Green, Author of Drawing with Light
Something extraordinary happens when the clock strikes 13… Tom finds himself back in time, in a garden that is no longer there, and meets a girl called Hatty… This magical story is beautifully written and has a perfect, touching ending. I recommend it for imaginative children (and adults) who are confident readers. It’s my favourite story of all.

Tracey Turner, Author of Deadly Peril and How to Avoid It
The places and characters in this magical, haunting classic will stay with readers for a lifetime.

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6. CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Roald Dahl

The top book from our most recommended author. Packed with dark humour, every child will be clamouring for a golden ticket of their own after reading about Charlie’s adventures with the Oompa Loompas.

Gemma Malley
Who wouldn’t want to win a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory? A wonderful story that backs up everything you’ve ever told your children – that they shouldn’t watch too much television, eat  too many sweets,   chew gum…

JD Irwin
Your heart bleeds for poor Charlie Bucket and his loving family. The wonderful characters and surreal humour make this an absolute classic!

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7. THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS
Kenneth Grahame

Despite what Kenneth Grahame might say, his masterpiece is far more than four animals “simply messing about in boats”. The tales of Mole, Ratty, Toad and Badger explore the meaning of friendship and morality.

Gill Harvey
Author of The Egyptian Chronicles series As well as being a beautiful story, this book reflects my love of nature and the British countryside, and is an inspiration to preserve the loveliest aspects of it.

Alex Milway, Author of The Mousehunter trilogy
How can you top Mr Toad as a character? I still rank this as one of my favourite books of all time. Poop poop!

Debi Gliori
Please read this, because it is a core part of our island literary heritage. Watching the film is not the same thing at all. All of life is here, in one slender book.

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8. LITTLE HOUSE IN THE BIG WOODS
Laura Ingalls Wilder

The semi-autobiographical work describes the Ingalls family’s relationship with the wild world around them. The idea of finding harmony with nature is as relevant today as it ever has been.

Meg Rosoff Carnegie Medal-winner for Just In Case
First of the Little House books, and still the best. Red-knitted mittens for Christmas, maple sugar-making in the snow, and Pa playing his fiddle through the long Wisconsin winter nights.

Julia Green
My father read this aloud to me and my sisters when I was about eight or nine, and I loved it so much. It was great to have a story with an active, strong girl as the main character. I loved all the details of her exciting and adventurous life in a log cabin
in the Wisconsin woods with her loving family.

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9. CHARLOTTE’S WEB
EB White

EB White’s endearing classic is one of the best-selling books of all time. Charlotte the spider saves Wilbur the pig from slaughter and the two become firm friends. What follows is one of the most emotional tales in kids’ literature.

Sarah Webb, Author of the Amy Green series
An oldie, but a goodie. Heart warming.

Julia Green
As a child I loved this story. It is very unsentimental about animals, and deeply moving. Reading it now as an adult, I appreciate its themes: the importance of friendship and about coming to terms with loss.

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10. A WIZARD OF EARTHSEA
Ursula Le Guin

Although as yet without a Hollywood adaptation, Earthsea is a realm of wizards, dragons and shadows to rival Middle-Earth and Narnia. Le Guin was writing about a boy at a magical school before JK Rowling could even walk.

Amanda Mitchison, Journalist and author of Mission Telemark
Set in the mythical world of Earthsea, this is one of the greatest books ever written about magic. It will stay with you forever.

Philip Womack, Author of The Other Book
Thoughtful, intelligent and thrilling, a thoroughly-imagined fantasy for young children  to get their teeth into.

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11. TREASURE ISLAND
Robert Louis Stevenson

The original pirate adventure story is a treasure in itself.Popular with readers of all ages, Stevenson’s classic coming-of-age tale has pirates, parrots and peg legs galore.

Marcus Sedgwick, Author of Revolver
One of the classics that is actually worth reading, forget Pirates of the Caribbean, this is the real thing – dark and really, really scary.

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12. ARTEMIS FOWL
Eoin Colfer

Written with verve, charm and a very modern sense of humour, Artemis Fowl proves an absorbing alternative to typical fantasy tales.

Tommy Donbavand, Author of the Scream Street series
One of the most exciting books I’ve ever read. It’s Die Hard, with fairies!

JD Irwin
A fast-paced and hilarious novel with ingenious use of the anti-hero.

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13. GEORGE’S MARVELLOUS MEDICINE
Roald Dahl

Roald Dahl’s second on the list tells the tale of George and his grumpy grandma. Wonderfully illustrated by Quentin Blake, George’s Marvellous Medicine is outrageously entertaining.

Glenn Murphy, Author of the Science: Sorted! series
I’d recommend anything by Roald Dahl. But this one – with its suitably silly and gruesome plot – was a personal fave of mine at age 10.

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14. THE CAT IN THE HAT
Dr Seuss

Dr Seuss’ wildly imaginative books are loved the world over.The Cat in the Hat is an icon of anarchy.

Tracey Turner
Two children, an anarchic cat and an anxious fish star in Dr Seuss’ beloved creation. Lots of children will have enjoyed the fun hundreds of times before they’re 11, but anyone who hasn’t read it should grab a copy now, whatever age they are.

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15. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
Maurice Sendak

Sent to bed without supper, Max sails off to the land of the Wild Things to become king and dance a wild rumpus. Recently adapted by Spike Jonze, this remains one of the best-ever picture books.

Tanya Landman, Author of the Poppy Fields Murder Mysteries
With a lyrical text and stunning illustrations, this is the perfect picture book.

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16. THE IRON MAN
Ted Hughes

A giant metal man causes chaos throughout the countryside before finding friendship in the most unusual place and fighting a dragon from outer space.

OisÍn McGann, Author of the Mad Grandad series
A simple, dark and haunting story about an unlikely friendship between a huge mysterious robot and a little boy. The iron giant causes chaos by eating metal and machinery wherever it finds it. But is it a monster or a guardian? A story that stays in your head long after you’ve finished reading.

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17. HOLES
Louis Sachar

“If you take a bad boy and make him dig a hole every day in the hot sun, it will turn him into a good boy.” Follow the trials and tribulations of Stanley Yelnats in this strangely compelling tale.

Jim Carrington, Author of Inside My Head
I love everything about this book – the brilliant characters, the dusty setting and the fantastically interwoven plots.

Marcus Sedgwick
One of the cleverest and oddest books I’ve read, with a hero you’ll cheer for.

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18. AN EVENING AT ALFIE’S
Shirley Hughes

It’s raining and Alfie’s roof is leaking! It’s up to Alfie, his sister Annie Rose and their babysitter to stop the flood.

Floella Benjamin, Former Play School presenter
This was one of my favourite books to read when I did Play School because there is a little Alfie in all children.

Eoin McNamee
As much for the illustration as the story – the careworn and loving adults, the lived-in interiors, the sense of a childhood looked back on.

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19. MR GUM
Andy Stanton

Mr Gum is a grumpy old man who leads a quirky old life. Follow his adventures in this wonderful series of books, which won won the first Roald Dahl Funny Prize.

Tommy Donbavand
I love You’re A Bad Man, Mr Gum! It’s the first in a brilliantly quirky and funny series. Laughs guaranteed!

JD Irwin
No grand themes here, just extremely silly and very, very funny! Some of the most laugh-out-loud books ever written for children!

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20. HIS DARK MATERIALS
Philip Pullman

Pullman’s epic exploration of alternate dimensions and the meaning of God has made him one of the most controversial authors on our list.

Gill Harvey
Philip Pullman makes big ideas manageable with this fantastic
fantasy story.

Alex Milway
The Northern Lights is a terrific romp through ice and snow, with a feisty heroine and an armoured bear. Everyone wants a daemon after they’ve read this.

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21. STIG OF THE DUMP
Clive King

When Barney meets a caveman in the old quarry, he isn’t prepared for the incredible friendship and adventures they will have.

Peter Cocks (aka Will Peterson)
The story of a modern boy discovering a caveman in a local quarry. I was fascinated when I read this. I believe the setting was Kit’s Coty, a bronze age barrow near where I grew up in Kent. It inspired a love of archaeological mysteries in me and the idea of ‘what if?’ What if there was a real caveman at the end of your garden… or an alien buried in the local graveyard?

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22. WHY THE WHALES CAME
Michael Morpurgo

Friends Gracie and Daniel ignore the warnings of the Birdman and get stranded on the mysterious Samson Island.

Alex Milway
A classic tale of growing up in a world that’s our own, but seemingly still full of magic. The storyline and setting captivated me as a child.

Julia Green
This was the book that introduced me to the Isles of Scilly, which are the setting for my own novel for teenagers, Breathing Underwater. My children loved it when we read it together on our first visit to the islands. It’s a story about the important relationship between people and the natural world, and about not judging people who seem ‘different’ from us. Morpurgo is a brilliant storyteller: I recommend his many other books too.

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23. JUST SO STORIES
Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling’s imaginative explanations for ‘How Rhinoceros Got Its Skin’ and ‘How The Camel got its Hump’, and much more.

Helen Grant, Author of Carnegie-shortlisted The Vanishing of Katharina Linden
Beautifully written and very funny – especially the tale of Suleiman-bin-Daoud and The Butterfly that Stamped, which makes me laugh every time I read it.

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24. FAMOUS FIVE
Enid Blyton

The timeless adventures of Julian, Dick, Anne, George and their dog Timmy have sold more than 100 million copies worldwide.

Lauren St John, Author of The White Giraffe
Politically incorrect and grammatically dodgy, but who – if they’re honest – can resist the timeless appeal of Julian, Dick, George, Anne and Timmy the dog?

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25. A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
Lemony Snicket

These 13 amusingly gothic tales follow the Baudelaire orphans as they try and escape from the evil Count Olaf.

Robert Llewellyn, Android Kryten in hit sitcom Red Dwarf
One of those Harry Potter-type books that once my son started reading he didn’t stop. I have failed in many areas of parenting but both my kids read a lot so I’ve got one thing right. This was the start for my son.

Jim Carrington
This is a bit of a cheat, seeing as there are 13 books in the series. The baddies are brilliantly, daftly evil and the good children are ridiculously good natured, clever and have an incredibly disadvantaged life, since the fire that claimed their parents. These stories are fantastic for children who have a dark, dry sense of humour.

So in comes Maggotwump on Tuesday morning with my breakfast bowl of toenails (not bad; a little like Special K) and he’s wearing a kilt. (It’s wearing a kilt, I mean. I’m never entirely sure about Maggotwump.)

‘Today you go Embra Inter-int-imber- ah, Big Bok Festival. Sign boks.’

Reader, I kissed him. When I recovered consciousness, I found myself on a Scotrail Express. Ah, it was so good to breathe the open air, scented with Scotrail coffee and bad bananas and that funny loo with the oddly revolving door.

It’s lovely, that Edinburgh International Book Festival. Luckily Charlotte Square Gardens has the magical ability, in August, to expand to accommodate as many tents and people as you could wish for. (I never did find the Olympic-sized swimming pool but I think it’s on the third floor down.) It’s a fabulous place and full of wonderful authors – though on my day off I saw more politicians and journalists than writers, and why (may I ask) don’t monsters kidnap them instead of decent respectable children’s authors? You must go, and if you can’t go this year then clear a two-week space in next year’s calendar.

I was extra-super-well-behaved, so after my day’s trial the monsters say I can go back next week for a whole week. There was only one tiny hiccup, when someone-who-shall-be-nameless at the Society of Authors AGM referred to children’s writers as ‘BWAs’ (‘Bunny Wabbit Authors’). However, I showed him this darling little girl, and he ran, screaming.

Lately I’ve had a lot of messages (from kids & adults) asking for advice about writing.
I have lots of serious advice. Much of it is on my website, which I must update now that it seems more people are interested.
Advice about stories, about creativity, about the process…
But there are also a few things I wish more people knew – writers above all. And this is aimed mainly at the adults. Kids have a good excuse.
So here are a few things I can’t say to aspiring writers when they want advice, but which I hope they will at some point come to know.

- the difference between ‘disinterested’ and ‘uninterested’

- that ‘enormousness’ and ‘enormity’ are both good words but they mean very different things

- that there is never (or hardly ever) any need to use the word ‘ominous’

- that there is definitely no need to ever use the word ‘ominously’

- that to split an infinitive is fine, sometimes necessary and often the most elegant way of saying what you need to say

- that using ‘less’ when you need ‘fewer’ can drastically change the meaning of a sentence

- that it’s OK to use an apostrophe for the plural of initials and numbers, such as, “There were very few DVD’s in the 1940′s.”

- to use a singular verb after ‘none’, as in, ‘None of us is perfect.’

Sometimes I’m tempted to say some of those things out loud, in an email or in a facebook message. Those are times when I must remember that it’s the story that matters.

But of the 100′s of people who commit these enormities, none of them is going to easily overcome the enormousness of the task of making me anything but uninterested. Are less educated writers getting touch with me, or are fewer educated writers getting in touch with me? Either way, it’s ominous.

I found this on my drawing board this morning.

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