OK, so I was terrified at first, and maybe I’m still a little bit terrified, but then I decided that if we were ever going to get out of our monstrous predicament, we were going to have to be a bit devious. So I’ve been hanging out with one of our captors. I chose him [...]
Category > Help!
We’re Doomed!
OK… I made a pile of all our books and climbed up to see if I could find an escape route for myself us. It’s worse than we thought. On the other side of that ridge are thousands upon thousands on monsters. Even if we used Baz as a battering ram, we’d only get through [...]
Do we have an imposter amongst us?
Whilst I was trying to get to sleep last night amongst all the weird sounds (most of which were coming from the direction of Baz and Tommy, with the occasional wiffle from Joe – what is it with that wiffling anyway?) I thought a little more about the question I asked in my last post. I’m [...]
The Love Song Of P Aggle Bananapits
OK – I think the one with banana type growths in its armpits may possibly have taken a shine to me. It seems that poking a soggy chip in my ear and saying ‘ibble’ is a sign of affection. So, having noted the benefits that Mark and Baz and Tom have scored, I rashly promised [...]
Three Can Play At That Game
Oh! So, look at Mark and Baz getting treats and favours from the monsters because they both suddenly went from “You can’t keep me trapped in here!” to “Here’s a poem for you, my lovely-horned, glistening overlords. Would you like me to kiss your tentacles while I’m at it?” A place to sleep that doesn’t [...]
A poem by B. Hutchison (aged 31)
Great. Thanks a bunch, Mark. It seems the beasts holding me in my cell were highly amused by Mr Robson’s recent display of poetic genius. They’ve insisted I write one, too. I tried to explain that poetry isn’t really my thing. I told them I’ve never even attempted to write a poem in my life. [...]
Oh dear
Further to my last post, I have just this very moment spotted the messages you guys have written. Monsters, you say. Kidnapping plot. Held against our will. Interesting … … HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!! Baz PS – I have also just realised my toilet doesn’t flush. PPS – And that I don’t actually seem to have a toilet.
I think there’s been a mistake
Hello? … Hellooooo? Anyone? Look, I know I shouldn’t have fallen asleep in the carriage, and I apologise if I started snoring, but this is a bit much, isn’t it, guys? I’d have understood a sharp elbow in my ribs. I’d have accepted a telling off when I woke up. But locking me in a [...]
Dear Mum
Dear Mum, I’ve been captured by monsters. They’ve got me locked up in a cave. It’s dark and it’s damp and it’s smelly. They’ll eat me if I don’t behave. I know that you told me to listen. It seems you were right all these years. You warned me that bad things would happen, If [...]
It’s Dark in here!
Eeek! What is this place? *Must remember training. Must remember training!* Name: Mark Robson Number: 8028871K Rank: Umm … civilian Date of Birth: 27 May 66 Pssst! Guys, guys … you haven’t been telling them stuff, have you? Remember the Geneva Convention. Don’t give them anything they can use against you. What? They haven’t heard [...]
