No, it wasn’t Maggotbreath this time. It was the arrival of the evil Thalofedril, and luckily it was only in my head. I’d found a few old wet matches and managed to strike one so I could read Hazel Allan’s BREE McCREADY AND THE HALF-HEART LOCKET.

(A match doesn’t last that long, obviously, but I managed to scrape together a pile of old Maggoty’s nose pickings – nice and inflammable, as it turns out, and much the same consistency as tar.)

You know, because I get to look at the likes of Mankybutt on a regular basis, an ugly face by itself is not that bad. What really gave me the heebie-jeebies about Hazel Allan’s book was the way you never se Thalofedril… YOU ONLY HEAR HIM COMING… with a thud-slide-thud-slide-thud-slide…

I don’t want to conjure up what he looks like, thank you very much. The noise is enough. That does often happen… you know, when you can’t see something and so your imagination comes up with a lot worse. Anyone knows this who has been woken up by a hairy snuffling in the pitch dark because Maggotbreath has been looking for the loos and opened the wrong door. (I nearly died.)

Anyway, it’s just as well that Thalofedril has a ferocious opponent in Bree McCready, who has ONE NIGHT TO SAVE THE WORLD!

So it’s a race against time for Bree and her friends Honey and Sandy (who has nasal problems not dissimilar to Mankybutt’s, actually). If you like a book that’s heart-in-the-mouth and breakneck-paced, this is the one for you. (It has some quieter, sadder moments, too.)

And the good news is – the sequel is out next month, from Strident Publishing. BREE McCREADY AND THE FLAME OF IRENUS, it’s called. Me, I can’t wait. I shall start scraping up the snot again right now.

(PS Bree has a Facebook page here.)

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Bree McCready, Hazel Allan, Strident