Hurrah! The age of the classic ‘B’ movie has been reborn! I’m probably showing my age a bit now, but in my youth I really enjoyed watching some of the old ‘B’ movie Sci Fi/Horrors that were around. In their own way they were brilliant: totally unbelievable plotlines, blatantly rubbish props, monsters made out of old bits of carpet … hilariously funny really. Believe it, or not, this is a clip from a recent film that took itself seriously. (Apologies for the one expletive. I don’t know how to bleep them out.)

Why did the guy randomly mention he was getting married in two days? The sympathy vote maybe? Great writing there! Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus was brilliantly awful. Scenes like the above had me rolling off my chair with laughter, and now guess what … yep. They’ve gone one better. Mega Piranha! Take a look at this clip and see if you can take the film seriously.

I was so taken with this clip that I bribed my guard into getting me a copy at once. I wasn’t disappointed. It is awe inspiringly terrible! I sat and watched it, roaring with laughter, while my newly arrived Austrian aupair (yes, fellow captives, I have an aupair in my cave – jealous? You should be!) watched on in amazement. By the end of the film she was so robbed of the power of speech that she was reduced to a single word, which she kept repeating over and over again. ‘Why? Why? Why?’

The film is rated 15 and there is a fair amount of fake blood thrown around. The President’s solution of dropping nuclear bombs all over the entire Florida pan-handle to stop the fish from reaching Washington is priceless. It’s impossible to take this film seriously. To sum it up in one word – hilarious!

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