What did you do on your summer holiday?  Something exciting, I bet?  Or maybe relaxing.  Time to put your feet up and relax…

That’s what I wanted to do.  Really.  I thought I’d treat myself to a nice drive around America.  What could go wrong with that?  My first stop was the beach, ready for a refreshing swim. But I was put off because the water was a tad too cold and a little, um, sharky…

So instead I continued driving.  The roads became emptier, houses started to dwindle and I became hungry.  I passed a few remote towns… then encountered this rather unusual sign. Nothing too weird, right? Until I noticed how many people live there…

Deciding I would rather gnaw my own toes off than stop, I pressed on and turned onto an unfamilar highway…

Famish, and optimistic that nothing could possibly go wrong, I stopped at the lovely town called Rachel.  Actually, it’s more of a trailer park. There I found a delightful place to eat.

After a sumptuous meal and sinister warnings of “don’t stray off the path” I promptly strayed off the path and was startled to discover I had wandered into the mysterious, and notorious, AREA 51 – the top secret military testing ground where, it is claimed, the US Government house and fly captured UFOs.  The Government claim the base does not exist. Which was worrying because I was there.

Balderdash! I declared.  Who would believe that?

Then I was promptly chased across the desert by the sinister security guys, known only as The Cammo Dudes, who had been watching my every step.

After a paranoid getaway, I promptly returned to the Little Al’Le’Inn for a good night’s sleep, safe in the knowledge that there couldn’t possibly be alien technology housed behind the sinister mountain ridge…

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