For the last few days I have been out of the cave, running events at the Turriff Book Festival in Aberdeenshire. I met lots of excited kids, talked nonsense for a total of 7 or 8 hours, and enjoyed the taste of air that wasn’t tinged with the acrid stench of monster dung. Or David’s after shave.

While there, I met up with Alexander Gordon Smith, author of the utterly, horrifyingly brilliant FURNACE series, which Sam reviewed on this very blog several months ago. Some of you may also remember a doomed attempt Gordon made to break us out of here. If not, you can read all about it here.

I was relieved to see Gordon, because we’d all assumed he’d perished in the break-out, but there he was, large as life. However, it quickly became obvious that Gordon – like me – was being closely watched by a mysterious (some might say monstrous) companion.

Gordon seemed relaxed and happy enough while we spoke, but his eyes told a very different story. He was scared. Possibly even more scared than I was. Could it be that there’s another cave somewhere, with other authors trapped inside? Could it be this pattern is being repeated across the globe? Has anyone seen JK Rowling lately? It’s a worrying thought.

Before we were led off to different events, Gordon and I had this snap taken, to mark our meeting. If you look closely, you might be able to spot our monster companions. They made an attempt to disguise themselves but, frankly, they’re not fooling anyone.

On Monday I’m being let out of the cave for five whole days, when I go off on tour with HarperCollins to promote my horror series, Invisible Fiends. I’ll be visiting eight cities over the five days, starting in London and finishing in Glasgow. Maybe I’ll find a way to escape when I’m out for so long. Maybe.

But I wouldn’t put money on it.

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