Last Sunday, I was dragged from my cave in the dark, wee hours and bundled into the back of a van which – for some reason – was filled with boxes of books. Little did I know I would be spending the next week being paraded around schools in Inverclyde and East Dunbartonshire on what was laughingly code-named the Scottish Friendly Children’s Book Tour.
There was nothing friendly about it at all!
Two monster handlers – disguised as humans called Chris and Heather – essentially put me on show for a week, forcing me to perform like a circus monkey in return for brief gasps of fresh air while I was lugging vast boxes of Scream Street books across endless car parks. They even filmed me, prancing around like a trained bear, under strict instructions never to reveal how terrified I really was:
Thankfully, the torture ended on Friday, and I was dragged back to the relative discomfort of my damp, fetid cave.
Watch out, fellow authors – it could be your turn next!
*sob*
23/03/2010 at 5:21 pm Permalink
Could you stop showing these highly amusing author clips please, it shows me and my events in a very poor light. Oh, and another thing, dear readers, you might be interested to know he’s not like this in real life. Very moody and stand off-ish.