JETHRO’S ACE OF HEARTS

a thirteen-part story, EXCLUSIVE to Trapped By Monsters

story (c) Sam Enthoven / illustrations (c) David Melling, 2009. All rights reserved.

(Click here for previous slices: 1st ; 2nd ; 3rd ; 4th ; 5th ; 6th)

-Seventh Slice-

‘Hearts?‘ said Jethro, and turned his head to face his host at last.

‘Ah, splendid! So nice to see each other again, yes? Yes: hearts,’ said Mr Theophilus. ‘I remove them, roast them for not less than eight hours until the meat is completely tender, then I eat them with various special sauces of my own devising.’

There was short silence.

‘Eight hours?’ spluttered Jethro, finally.

‘Why, yes,’ replied Mr Theophilus. This commendable show of curiosity clearly pleased him. ‘The timing’s rather crucial, actually. While the heart is undoubtedly an organ best consumed rare, anything less than a full eight hours is, frankly, impractical.’ His green eyes twinkled, laughter lines deepening around them. ‘I see that what I say surprises you.’

Jethro did not reply.

‘Well,’ said Mr Theophilus, taking a deep breath and fixing his eye on the middle distance, ‘it’s simply because the human heart’s so astonishingly tough. You follow? It’s the job, all that pumping all the time. The heart is solid, gristly muscle by its very nature, because expanding and contracting is really all it ever does.’

He turned to Jethro, smiling broadly.

‘Take Joan of Arc. I’m sure you recall the story about her. No? French lady? Led a rebellion, claiming she was under orders from the saints? Well, anyway: in 1431 she was burnt at the stake, and when they put out the fire the only thing that was left of her was her heart. No matter how hard her executioners tried, the bally thing just wouldn’t catch light. Now: why do you think that was, hmm?‘

-Click here for Slice Eight-

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