Monsters. What would we do without them, eh? They entertain us, they fascinate us, they look after us so, erm, nicely in this cave. We think we know them so well, but does the relationship get stale? Of course not. Because monster know just how to keep things fresh. It’s like a good marriage. Monsters can still surprise us by crawling up out of a lake in Panama and attacking small children.

Check out this latest news on the exploits of Mefanwey, the brother of one of my excellent monster chums here in the cave. And when I say ‘chums’, I do of course mean tormentors. And when I say ‘excellent’, I’m sure you realise I mean the old sense of the word, which roughly translates as ‘cruel, sadistic, disgusting and devoid of any moral sense’.

Anyway, here’s the news story.

 And here’s what poor old Mefanwey looked like after the children had stoned him to death and thrown his body back into the lake, then he’d been washed up on the shore again and picked apart by buzzards: 

Now I think about it, surely that’s the real story: humans discover an amazing new creature that  nobody’s ever seen before, so we immediately stone it to death and throw it back into a lake. Sounds about right.

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