Although not the youngest of the authors here in the cave (curse you, Joe Craig!) I am by far the most inexperienced, with only a handful of Ben 10 books to my name so far.

Those following our antics in here may know that my own series of horror books are due to be released from January 2010 onwards, with a new book every six months up until mid-2012. For the hard of counting (by which I mean Tommy), that makes six books in total.

The series is called INVISIBLE FIENDS, and the first book in the series – MR MUMBLES – has begun to appear to pre-order from various online booksellers. Hooray!

There’s still almost a full six months until book one is out, but I thought I’d share the cover artwork here. It’s illustrated by a rather fantastic artist named Jonny Duddle, and I think it looks flippin’ brilliant!

I’d love to hear what you think of the cover, so leave a comment and let me know!

No, this is not a post about where to buy a Stephen King film/story. The picture just sort of fitted the story that came from a series of writing workshops I did today in Libraries around Northampton. Children came to Wootton Fields, Kingsthorpe and Weston Favell Libraries today to take part in ‘Monster Workshops’ with me. The idea was to promote the ‘Questseekers’ summer reading campaign and to spread the word further about our plight here in the cave.

The children in Wootton Library began the following story and other groups added to it through the day. I’ve posted it here for you to read, and asked the children to send in suitable endings. Here’s what they’ve written so far:

‘What was that?’ Maria whispered.
‘How would I know,’ Jensen replied with a shrug. ‘Come on. We’ve given mum and dad the run around for long enough. Let’s get out of here.’

He crept out from the doorway into the silent main hall of the Grosvenor Centre. It was getting quite dark now and nobody else was around. His footsteps rang, sounding strangely loud and echoing in the hallway. A sudden hissing sound raced along the pipes overhead and a cloud of mist began to descend from the vents up near the ceiling. The lights in the shop windows began to flicker.

Jensen’s eyes went wide. He could feel his heart beginning to pound faster and faster.

‘Maria?’ he said, his voice sounding tight and shaky.

‘What’s the matter, Jensen?’ she replied. ‘It’s only a bit of mist.’

Her words sounded brave, but her stomach felt as though it was twisting inside out. She stepped out of the doorway and marched confidently towards the main entrance. Jensen followed along behind, looking around nervously. Where had everyone gone? Was it really so late? A cold shiver ran down his spine as misty shadows moved in the corners of his vision.

‘Uh oh!’ Maria exclaimed as she reached the doors.

‘What’s the matter, Maria?’

‘The doors are locked,’ she replied, sounding shocked and slightly scared now.

‘We’re trapped,’ Jensen breathed.

They turned together. The mist was swirling thicker and thicker. It was billowing out of the vents in great clouds now, but it didn’t smell hot or acrid like smoke. In fact, it didn’t smell of anything at all. Was that a face appearing? They froze as a shape began to resolve and the longer they watched, the more solid the shape became.

Huge, fiery red eyes opened in the mist, blinking and glaring with burning malice. The ouline of the misty creature was so huge it almost filled the hallway. Black arms burst from the misty body, growing at an alarming rate from the pillar of mist that served as the monster’s body. Vicious claws erupted from the ends of the shadowy fingers, stretching towards them with such reach that it seemed there could be no escape.

Maria jumped in front of her younger brother and screamed at the creature. ‘Leave us alone you foul thing!’

It didn’t respond. Instead it grabbed her in its misty claws, freezing her solid in an instant.

Jensen couldn’t believe his eyes. Ice crystals filled his sister’s hair and shimmered like snow all across her clothing. He was so scared, he was beyond panic. His head spun with dizziness and a deep sense of shame burned inside him. Maria had been so brave and here he was, shaking and unable to move.

The mist creature growled. Its voice, filled with triumph, was so low and powerful that the windows rattled and the floor shook. To Jensen it felt almost like an earthquake.

Realising that this might be his one chance, Jensen forced his legs into a run whilst the monster was distracted by its joy at freezing Maria. Dodging to the right of the misty creature he sprinted past the Millies Cookie Store so fast that he couldn’t keep his balance. His body overtook his legs and he fell, tumbling, rolling and sliding across the cold floor.

The stone felt like solid ice as Jensen scrambled back to his feet. A glance behind showed the monster turning in through itself to face him again. It was as if it was turning inside out. Jensen shivered, goosebumps rising along his arms as he realised that it was very much intending to freeze him next.

He ran again. Faster and faster. Skidding as he turned left around the corner and headed for WH Smiths he was running so fast his throat was burning and he could taste the metallic tang of blood on the back of his tongue.

No matter how fast he ran, he couldn’t run fast enough. The thing poured along the hallway after him. There was no escape. It was catching up fast.

Suddenly Jensen spotted a security guard ahead. ‘HELP!’ he screamed, his voice cracking with the effort. ‘It’s after me!’

The guard took one look at the huge shadowy shape racing towards him and he was off. Jensen’s one thought was that the guard could run surprisingly fast given his bulk. Following the guard as best he could, the boy was delighted to see the man smash the fire alarm casing with his torch as he passed. Instantly a high-pitched intermittent siren split the air.

‘That should draw some attention,’ he thought. ‘I just hope it’s not too late…’

Just had this great picture through from George, who was at the first workshop yesterday. Thanks, George … I think you’ve caught the image of the myst monster really well.

I can’t wait to find out what happens next!

I was up at about 6 this morning so I could go on the telly again. Not my usual routine, especially when there’s a Test Match on (when I usually have the alarm set for 10.46am, allowing just enough time to get breakfast before catching the last few minutes of the build-up to the start of play). But the monsters kindly let me out this time (with a chaperone, obviously) so I could be on the BBC.

My appearance on BBC Breakfast seemed to go OK. It was all very quick again, but I hope in those few seconds I didn’t offend anybody too much. My stance is still that I’m more than happy to be vetted in order to carry on visiting schools.

Interesting feedback from various people.

Some seem to be bristling about the cost. I expect most authors will probably split the cost (£64) and spread it across several schools. I think if I spread it over the events I’ve got coming up in the next 12 months it’ll work out at about £2 per school. (Obviously this method doesn’t help people like dinner ladies or low paid workers who can’t name their own fee, but I’m not claiming to comment for them. I’m just responding to the fuss that a few ‘esteemed’ authors have kicked up.)

A few times I’ve heard the ‘Where will it end?’ argument, otherwise known as ‘the thin end of the wedge’. This goes, roughly, something like this: we shouldn’t have to vet authors, because that implies we should have to vet everybody who works with children, or even lives near children, or has children, or can spell ‘children’.

Well, I like ‘wedge’ arguments. Usually a good response is simply to say that the first thing does not imply the second. Or, if it does, quite often the second thing is also a good thing to be doing, so the implication means we should do the first thing, then look into doing the second as well. It’s a mixture of both in this case:

Yes, it does imply that we should vet everybody who works with children. That’s a good thing. It’s the point of the scheme.

No, it does not imply that we should be paranoid about everybody who lives anywhere near a school (though now I think about it, what’s wrong with a bit of healthy caution?).

The strangest argument is the one I’ve heard from Messrs Morpurgo and Pullman – that vetting authors destroys the trust between author and young reader.

Is that so different from the trust between pupil and teacher, fan and popstar or, dare I say it, child and school caretaker? Well, I suppose it is different from the pupil/teacher relationship because a reader’s trust in the author isn’t borne out of getting to know the person, it’s a judgement of character based on the author’s work. Lovely that that trust exists. But surely it’s all the more reason to vet the author – let’s make sure the trust can’t be abused. (Barry put this very well in his comment on my previous post.)

And will vetting the author really threaten that trust? I struggle to see how. Vetting will be a process between the author and the Independent Safeguarding Authority. The teacher organising the visit might get involved to check that the author is ISA registered, but it doesn’t need to go beyond that, does it?

To be honest, most kids probably assume that everybody working with them has been checked out anyway. They’re not idiots. A lot of them might be surprised to find out that children’s authors have been allowed to go into schools for so long without being vetted.

The biggest shame is to hear that these few authors are going to be boycotting schools. Get over yourselves. Get registered and get on with inspiring kids to love reading and writing. It’s a fun job.

I have a long story to tell you about what happened when I was finally fully digested and ejected by the monster that ate me, but I’m going to save that for now because…

I escaped from the cave! Only temporarily. I’m back now.

I snuck out (in a cab) and found myself at BBC TV Centre. You’d have thought that I might use my appearance on BBC News 24 to decry the plight of all the authors in this cave and make a plea for our rescue, but I didn’t. Didn’t think of it. Oops.

Instead, I ranted and raved (a little bit) about this story.

A handful of very eminent children’s author have got themselves all worked up about authors having to be registered and vetted before we can visit schools. They’ve even decided to boycott schools from now on.

Isn’t that a shame?

Seems like a bit of an over-reaction to me, and I said so on the telly tonight. I will say so again on the telly tomorrow morning. I might also say some other things, such as:

Yes, it’s extremely rare for an author to be left alone with a child in a school, and in theory it should NEVER happen. So perhaps vetting authors seems unnecessary. But even when I’ve addressed a hall of 300 kids from a stage, and everything is supervised by staff, there are still moments, especially during the signing afterwards, when staff are so occupied marshalling the crowd that they have no way of monitoring what I’m saying or doing with kids at the front of the queue. Then I always stay in touch with kids I’ve addressed at schools afterwards, online – on websites like this one, and my pages on facebook and bebo.

I might also say other things, depending on how the mood strikes me, what I have for breakfast beforehand and how late I get to bed tonight.

We’ll see…

Oh, so here’s the ‘important announcement’ bit, in big, clear letters:

BBC BREAKFAST NEWS, 7.45am TOMORROW! Watch me! (But if you’re of a nervous disposition, vet me first. Just in case…)

I’m evading my monster jailers to announce that Scream Street 5: Skull of the Skeleton andScream Street 6: Claw of the Werewolf are out now!

The books tell the tale of Luke, Resus and Cleo in their efforts to find and retrieve the final two relics left by Scream Street’s founding fathers.  If they succeed, Luke will have the power to open a doorway out of the community and take his parents home – but wicked landlord, Sir Otto Sneer, is out to stop them.

I hope you have a spooktacular time this summer with the next two Scream Street adventures!  Just don’t forget about trying to rescue us…

I must admit that while I found Scream Street: Fang of the Vampire a good read – see my review , I have found the subsequent books even faster and funnier than the first.

Book 2 – Blood of the Witch

When the blood supply to Scream Street dries up, poor Mr Negative, Resus’ dad, suffers intense withdrawal symptoms. Rather than biting the neighbours he resorts to sucking the blood of rats and inadvertently initiates a plague of vampiric creatures. The vampire rats are bad. A vampire cat makes for a smile, but a vampire zombie who sounds like the hippy, Neil, from ‘The Young Ones’ … now that had me chuckling into my cup of slime! ‘Hey, Dude! Come and get your blood-sucked, man!’

How will Luke, Resus and Cleo stem the tide of vampiric creatures and prevent Sir Otto from getting the second relic before they do? Well however they do it, you can be sure it will involve some clever word play and jokes that will have you laughing and groaning out loud!

Don’t miss this one. It’s a riot of action, clever twists and humour that will leave you smiling long after you’ve turned the final page.

Review of Book 3 – Heart of the Mummy will follow soon.

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke (website currently being rebuilt) is a book for book lovers on several levels. Firstly, you would have to be a confident and enthusiastic reader to tackle the 540+ page story. It also doesn’t set off at a rip-roaring pace like many modern books. Cornelia spends some time developing the characters and the back story before finally plunging Meggie and Mo into mortal danger at the hands of the evil Capricorn and his henchmen.

The story hinges around books, readers and writers, giving some wonderful insights into the author’s own love of literature, some of the arts of writing and the physical act of putting together a book. Mo (short for Mortimer) is a book doctor who restores old books. He also has a rather special and dangerous talent. When he reads aloud, people from the stories come to life … literally. Unfortunately, for every person or creature that he reads out from the pages, so someone or something from our world must slip into the book to maintain balance.

If it’s action, action, action you want, then this is probably not the book for you. However, as an avid reader I found the whole premise of the story fascinating and I’ve been a fan of Cornelia’s writing for some time now (ever since I read Dragonrider to my daughter some years back.)

If you’re teetering on the brink and not sure if you would like the book, why not watch the film. My daughter pulled a role reversal on me here, by not sending the dvd through the monster mail system until she was sure I’d read the book first. The film doesn’t quite follow the story of the book, but brings out and amplifies many of the key action scenes. I thoroughly enjoyed both versions of the story. Here’s the official trailer:

My new jailer, Omkrot the Ravenous (he ate the previous jailer) has allowed me a few moments of Internet access before I’m sent back to slopping out David’s cell…

I’m using this opportunity to show you the cover for Zombie! - my forthcoming book from utterly brilliant publisher, Barrington Stoke.

Zombie! tells the story of schoolboy Nathan and his sister Olivia who, on one of their regular visits to the local cemetery to visit their granddad’s grave, discover that one of the other corpses buried there is a little more lively than they would have expected…

For those who don’t know, Barrington Stoke produce books for dyslexic and struggling readers – and I’m very proud to have written something for them.  Zombie! will be published in September.

Walker Books are giving away a set of 6 Scream Street books – and all you have to do is give a few details about yourself!

To enter, simply click here.

Good luck!

Tommy

Charles Addams knew the truth. For more, click here and here.