ONCE AROUND THE BLOCK
Posted on : 30-05-2009 | By : Ali Sparkes
In : General
2
PHEW. It’s been a weird few days. I have to tell you, guys, that so far I’ve never had writer’s block. I’ve had a lot of ‘Imposter Syndrome’ where I think that next time is when I will finally get found out – that someone infinitely cleverer than me will one day stand up, wave one of my books, and ask very loudly what the heck I thought I was doing, daring to send it to a publisher. And everyone in the room will back them up.
But I have never been without a way of telling my story. This last couple of weeks has been tough though. Working on book number 20, everything started to slow down and make horrible impressions of going nowhere fast. It’s not because I don’t love my story. I always love my story. But this one just started meandering about and kicking its heels up and not doing anything. I was beginning to panic. I went for long walks or short runs on the common – the monsters let me out and shadowed me through the trees. And still nothing… nothing… nothing…
I thought about it practically and told myself that in the last four weeks alone I have had to work on FIVE different books – two that needed redrafting, two that needed kicking off for one of my publishers to look at and cogitate over and one that I should be writing NOW – the one that must be delivered late summer. My brain kept stopping and starting and flapping from one story line to another every other day, it seemed.
When had I last felt like this? This strange, growing dread; this nervy lack of control in the face of relentless demands and deadlines? The need to switch seamlessly from one narrative to another in a short space of time and somehow still impress? Aaaaah! Yes. It came back to me. I was 16. Taking exams. That was it.
Only today has it started to work again after a week of doing pretty much NOTHING. And now I am feeling better and flooded with relief and all excited about what happens next. And full of sympathy for anyone out there taking GCSEs. Get plenty of walks in between your revision, and remember that the world will not stop revolving if you don’t get an A. (I never got an A in any exam I ever took…)
Ali
I wasn’t an ‘A’ student either, Ali. I feel better to know that it’s not just me. I got mainly ‘B’s and ‘C’s with a few unmentionables somewhere down below that! I’m always left in awe of the writers who went off and got their First in English at Oxford and then did some Masters Degree or other before settling down to doing some writing. My ‘B’ at ‘O’ Level just feels kind of inadequate sometimes. Still I console myself by thinking that I’ve probably had a lot more fun in my life than they had!!!
Now, you see – I was a geek; an utter swot. In fact, the nerds used to gang up on me and ridicule my choice in retractable pencil. I even used to *shudder* ask the maths teacher for extra homework. I know, I know…
Then, at college, I rebelled and spent all my time entertaining – leaving two weeks before my A Levels in order to become a clown called Wobblebottom at a holiday camp on the Isle of Wight. From there, it was sequins and stage make-up all the way.
I often wonder what would have happened if I’d continued along the academic path. Would I have still become a writer? Probably. Would I still be writing the same comedy horror stuff for kids? Only if it was about a team of brave mathematical nerds who solve mysteries using complex equations.
Actually, that sounds great, doesn’t it? I could call the series Pythagoras and the Fractions, and they could be based in an underground lair that’s a perfect isosceles triangle!
Now, it’s time to sit back and wait for the publishers to start a bidding war on that one…