PHEW. It’s been a weird few days. I have to tell you, guys, that so far I’ve never had writer’s block. I’ve had a lot of ‘Imposter Syndrome’ where I think that next time is when I will finally get found out – that someone infinitely cleverer than me will one day stand up, wave one of my books, and ask very loudly what the heck I thought I was doing, daring to send it to a publisher. And everyone in the room will back them up.

But I have never been without a way of telling my story. This last couple of weeks has been tough though. Working on book number 20, everything started to slow down and make horrible impressions of going nowhere fast. It’s not because I don’t love my story. I always love my story. But this one just started meandering about and kicking its heels up and not doing anything. I was beginning to panic. I went for long walks or short runs on the common – the monsters let me out and shadowed me through the trees. And still nothing… nothing… nothing…

I thought about it practically and told myself that in the last four weeks alone I have had to work on FIVE different books – two that needed redrafting, two that needed kicking off for one of my publishers to look at and cogitate over and one that I should be writing NOW – the one that must be delivered late summer. My brain kept stopping and starting and flapping from one story line to another every other day, it seemed.

When had I last felt like this? This strange, growing dread; this nervy lack of control in the face of relentless demands and deadlines? The need to switch seamlessly from one narrative to another in a short space of time and somehow still impress? Aaaaah! Yes. It came back to me. I was 16. Taking exams. That was it.

Only today has it started to work again after a week of doing pretty much NOTHING. And now I am feeling better and flooded with relief and all excited about what happens next. And full of sympathy for anyone out there taking GCSEs. Get plenty of walks in between your revision, and remember that the world will not stop revolving if you don’t get an A. (I never got an A in any exam I ever took…)

Ali

More from the MONSTER ART ARCHIVES, courtesy once again of the jaw-droppingly awesome Utagawa Kuniyoshi. Here’s one character you wouldn’t want to find in your bath: meet THE EARTH SPIDER…

Handsome, ain’t he? And you can see he doesn’t like it when you wave the butter knife at him. Here (below) is more of the rest of the pic, which is called Minamoto no Raiko and his retainers battle with the Earth Spider.

I don’t know what happened to the blokes shown here, but I’m guessing it wasn’t good. Until I found this in the Archives, I had wondered where the monsters’ collection of somewhat blood-spattered traditional Japanese clothing came from: now I’m rather afraid that you’re looking at the last recorded appearance of the original owners.

When we TBM authors hear the distinctive approaching clicking of the Earth Spider’s claw-tips skittering across the cave walls, we’ve learned that by far the best thing to do is just hide. And as for his minions…

This is The Earth Spider conjures up demons at the mansion of Minamoto no Raiko. It gives you an idea of the kind of posse the Spider can round up when he’s riled. Check out these guys:

And, as if those weren’t bad enough, these:

If you’re reading this and you’re not in a cave and you happen to live in London, the wonderful current exhibition of Kuniyoshi’s stunning prints is only on at The Royal Academy for about another week. Do yourself a favour and check it out. But if you can’t get to see the real thing (the prints I mean – we’ve got the real real thing down here and believe me, you’re well off out of it!) there’s a terrific selection of scans on Flickr, here.

I was sent a link to a website today that I thought I’d share with you, since it’s (a bit) interesting.  It’s the website for a designer who helps self-published authors redesign their book covers, and it has a few examples of what makes a bad front cover and what makes a good one.

Now, I’m not going to get into the whole self-publishing debate, other than to say I don’t believe you should ever pay a publisher to publish your book for you.  Actually becoming your own publisher is very different, and something we can look at it another post.

I’m not making any recommendations of the designer’s work here – I haven’t looked at any more of his site other than those at the link below, so I don’t know a thing about him – but I thought the side-by-side comparisons of the before and after cover designs were worth sharing.

You can find the comparisons here:  http://www.fostercovers.com/before_after/

After I foolishly mentioned that I’d once read a magazine about web-design, the monsters decided I should do a redesign of the Trapped By Monsters website.  I tried to protest – tried to explain to them I had deadlines to meet, and school events to organise, and a monkey to start training for next year’s Britain’s Got Talent – but they didn’t listen.  They just ripped up my rewrites, cancelled my school bookings, and swallowed the monkey whole.  Poor little Coco.  May he rest in peace.

And so, armed with nothing but my hazy memories, a wonky desk, and several thousand pounds worth of web-design and image editing software, I set to work.  The result is what you see on this page.

So, what do you reckon?  Are the changes good?  Bad?  Utterly pointless and unnecessary?  It’d be great to get your comments, whether they be positive or negative.  The more feedback we get, the better the site can become.  So, while you’re giving your thoughts on the design, let us know if there’s anything else you’d like to see here on the site, and we’ll see what we can do.

If it wasn’t for my ‘itches’ I’d be in dire trouble in the fantasy tennis competition. Thank goodness for Cilic, Tipsarevic and Dokic, that’s all I can say! Sadly my team lost both Hantuchova and Makarova today, literally leaving me with only half of my lady’s team intact after only one round of the French Open. It was carnage out there today for the ‘Robson Random Backhanders’. Just goes to show that I know nothing about tennis, but it is fun to cheer on your players to victory or loss. I’ve never followed the French Open before, but I’m already getting into it. I quite like Wimbledon – mainly because my wife always takes time off work and is glued to the screen for two weeks at that time of year.

As things stand after the first round completed today, I look set to be giving away prizes. However, my team are not out for the count just yet. I have high hopes for a surge in the second round.

The current team placings in the Trapped by Monsters mini league are as follows:

1st with 365 points – (Pricey’s aptly named) ‘Are in First Place’ team.
2nd with 359 points – (Jeeves’) Trapped by Monsters
3rd with 355 points – (S1lverb0a’s) Trapped by Monsters
4th with 353 points – (The self explanatory) Joe Craig’s Trained Tennis Monkeys
5th with 337 points – Robson’s Random Backhanders.

I shall console myself with a picture of one of my winners today – Elena Dementieva. How strange she looks here in the cave alongside pictures of monsters!

Elena Dementieva

More reading – and this time I’ve tackled the second and third titles in fellow trapped author, Mark Robson’s brilliant Dragon Orb series, Shadow and Longfang.

As I said back when I read Firestorm – this series is not only a wonderful fantasy adventure story featuring some of the most realistic characters this side of a dragon’s tail, it also features one of the greatest twists ever dreamed up by an author.  Although, having got to know Mark a little during our time in captivity, I can see why he was keen to bring this extra dimension into the books.

Plus, it’s one thing to read tales of dragonriders taking to the air written by earthbound authors – but to delve into description by a former RAF pilot gives the flight sequences a whole new angle.

Without giving anything away, the adventures taking place in two different worlds are slowly starting to converge, and I can’t wait to see what happens when the stories finally collide.

Will Kira, Pell, Nolita and Elian manage to track down the fourth and final Dragon Orb and return it safely to the Oracle before Lord Segun or the dragonhunters can stop them?  We’ll find out in the final installment – Aurora.  I’ll see you in the queue on publication day…

I’m very proud to reveal the cover for Scream Street 7: Invasion of the Normals, which will be published in the UK at Halloween this year.

“But, how can there be a seventh book?” I hear you ask.  “Did Luke, Resus and Cleo fail in their quest to collect the relics of the founding fathers?  Are Luke and his parents now trapped in Scream Street forever?”

All will be revealed…

One of the advantages of not spending a lot of time on line recently is that I’ve been able to read quite a bit – and so I was delighted when the monsters appeared at my cell door with a proof copy of the third book in Alan Gibbons’ Hell’s Underground series, Renegade.

In this installment, renegade demon Paul Rector is taken back to the 1830s to face up to his ancestor, Samuel – also known as the Satan of Spitalfields.  The monstrous villain at the head of the gang of Rat Boys, Samuel has stolen, assaulted and killed his way to the top of the local crime scene – but he has darker goals in mind.  Through the torture of a railway engineer’s daughter, he plans to break further into the crypt of the evil Lud and help return his master to the throne.

The only people standing in Rector’s way are a young Jewish boy searching for a lost relative, Samuel’s unwilling girlfriend and Paul himself.  Will they be enough to stand up to the vast army of the undead the Rat Boys are working to rise up against the East End?

Renegade is easily the most powerful and terrifying of the Hell’s Underground series so far and I, for one, can’t wait to see where the ghostly train will take Paul Rector on his thankless journey next.

How was your weekend, reader? Enjoy the sunshine, did you? Did you find a comfy spot, perhaps with a breeze caressing your toes, where you could relax with an awesome book and a glass of something delicious? Sam heaves a very long and poignant sigh.

The power a good book can have to take you away from your surroundings is one of the most amazing and brilliant things about reading. Considering my current circumstances you might think that Dark Summer, by fellow monster captive Ali Sparkes, would perhaps not be the best choice for a bit of imaginative escapism – y’know, given that so much of the story takes place in dark and frightening caves and all. But you’d be wrong.

Dark Summer’s characters are completely modern – particularly hero Eddie’s impressively obnoxious cousins! But at its warm heart this book is classic old-school adventure storytelling in the vein of Blyton and Ransome. It’s a thoroughly satisfying read, and a great way to spend a summer afternoon.

Yes: even if you’re stuck in a moist, reeking, lightless cave for real. ;p

A few of our more observant blog visitors may have noticed that I’ve been missing for a while.  It all started when I attempted to move to a different cell, deeper within the caves, only to find that the slime heater wasn’t working properly…  I wont go on, suffice to say the past few weeks have been among the most stressful since we were captured.

But now – I’m back!  And just in time for Towel Day, the day each year when fans of Douglas Adams’ brilliant Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series of books carry a towel with them to show their appreciation of the great man and his work.

Adams, who suffered a permanent existence failure in 2001, wrote 5 books in the trilogy – and there’s another on the way – And Another Thing, courtesy of Artemis Fowl author and all round top bloke, Eoin Colfer.  News of the book was greeted with mixed reaction among Adams’ fans but, personally, I can’t wait.

Until then – Don’t Panic, and always know where your towel is.