Yes – it’s been too long since we last had a go at poems, and I am now throwing down the gauntlet to my fellow TBM authors – and anyone else who wants to join in – with a WORD & QUESTION challenge.
Now look – I don’t want eight pages of emotional drivel about falling leaves and crushed hopes – so put your teenage angst poems away, Baz! Invisible Fiends is quite terrifying enough.
BUT I do want brilliant and funny verse – no more than eight lines in length – which MUST include a set word and answer a set question. Those are the RULES.
I used to do a lot of W&Q in years past – and whiled away many a winter evening in this pursuit with my mate Val. We even put together a slim anthology, with illustrations (we didn’t get out much in the early 80s).
The following is a W&Q poem from that anthology – with illustration!
WORD: Bilberry
QUESTION: Has your hamster sharpened all the green pencils yet?
RESULTING POEM:
Well, he’s trying very hard to get the pencils sharp
But his heart’s not really in it; he’d rather play his harp
I put him in a cornflake packet with nothing but some nuts
I gave him one and said ‘Now crack it – and none of your ifs and buts!’
So he’s trying very hard now, very.
Da da da da da… bilberry.
As you can see, sometimes they can be quite poor. But I was very young. I am sure we can all do better! So here goes – your Word & Question challenge:
WORD: Bobbly
QUESTION: Is there a chance it snapped off by mistake?
I wait…
13/04/2009 at 10:10 am Permalink
The Short Saga of Slobbery McHorribly, by Alexander Gordon Smith
There once lived a beastie called Slobbery McHorribly,
Whose slippery snout was all nobbly and bobbly.
He would wheeze through the forest sniffing everyone smelly,
Leaving them covered in bogeys and nose jelly.
Well one day the monsters grew tired of his schnozz,
And snuck into his snotnest to cut the thing off.
When dawn came the monsters said to old Slobbery:
‘Must have snapped off by mistake, but at least you can breath properly!”
Hmmmm… It’s the best I could do, sorry!
13/04/2009 at 10:15 am Permalink
When you’re walking down the street, spinning a woollen bobbly,
You chose to walk under a tree, all big and brown and knobbly.
A branch then falls on to your head, and believe me it would ache,
You wonder if it might have gone and snapped of by mistake.
But when you look into the leaves, you see a big fat fellow,
And in his hands he holds a saw, and a helmet that is yellow.
A ghastly thought then crosses your mind “He’s done it with intent”,
“Maybe God’s punishing me ‘coz I haven’t paid the rent!”
Well that was fun to write!
13/04/2009 at 10:32 am Permalink
Woo-hoo! Two already – even before the TBMers have done any! Keep it up everyone and we’ll have our own slim anthology and get on to Poetry Please…
13/04/2009 at 3:43 pm Permalink
Deep in the forest where it’s all dark and scary
There lived a nasty monster who was quite hairy
He was bent on eating everyone in sight no matter
And if you walked by you would be on his platter
One dank day when the murk was all bubbly
He slipped and fell, leaving his head quite bobbly
His bashing club ended up all broke in two
And he wondered if with his karma it had to do
14/04/2009 at 1:39 pm Permalink
I’m a super hero super being but I’ve got a woollen cape
and when my mum washed it for me she made a big mistake.
Mum set it to a hot wash and now it’s shrunk and gone all bobbly,
she hates me flying through the air, did it deliberately (most probably)
I took my revenge with a little axe and smashed her combi washer dryer,
in my defence I covered my tracks by then setting it on fire.
Poor Mum she cried and wept and wailed and called the insurance broker, “Oh for goodness sake!” she tutted,
“My lovely combi washer dryer accidentally has been gutted!”
14/04/2009 at 2:06 pm Permalink
Someone had better tip off Simon’s mum that he has laundry issues. And Eric – stay out of the forest!