As expected, I didn’t win the Enfield Children’s Book Award this morning. The monsters did!

In a cruel joke, they let me out for the award ceremony, then sent one of their own to collect the award and laugh in my face.

The monster they sent was a chilling beast disguised as a sweet an innocent writer-lady. Called Jacqueline Wilson.

And they didn’t even send her in person. They provided a rather sweet video message. But too sweet if you ask me. It’s a fine line between sweet and smug. Yes, I’m talking to you, Dame Jackie.

Ahem, OK. Composure regained.

It’s just upsetting to be back here in the cave knowing that somewhere out there, trotting freely around, is a writer whose books I really would love to hide away forever.

It was a very fun event though, and I got to meet Jonny Zucker and SF Said, both of whose books I certainly do recommend.

SF Said’s first Varjak Paw book was pretty inspiring back when I was writing the early Jimmy Coates books. If you haven’t read any Varjak Paw you should check it out. It’s about a ninja cat. Very cool.

Anyway, back to my main theme: Dame Jacqueline. Honestly – I know her books aren’t aimed at me, but there are plenty of books not aimed at me that I can still appreciate as being well written or funny or interesting in some other way. For example, I think Louise Rennison is absolutely brilliant. Cathy Cassidy is great too.

Are there people out there who can explain to me the appeal of the great Dame?

OK, whinge over. Back to my gruel.

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Jacqueline Wilson, Jimmy Coates, Joe Craig, Jonny Zucker, Monsters, SF Said, Sour grapes