You know what? I don’t think we’re the first humans to be kidnapped and held here like this.

I’ve been having a rummage in the cave system’s archives. As you’d expect, there’s an enormous amount of monster propaganda in here, but the big surprise to me is that so many of what I took to be the products of the imagination of some of my favourite authors and artists were, in fact, drawn from real life.

Take this, below, from MY CROWD, a collection of fine cartoons by the incomparable Charles Addams:

The answer to the question “What has two horns, one eye, and creeps?” is – as I and presumably Mr Addams before me have learned – Gwyneth.

Much to my alarm, she seems to have something of a soft spot for authors. Gwyneth doesn’t talk much: instead, she prefers to express her affection by draping herself moistly up one’s back, then repeatedly butting her clammy, lidless eyeball against your ear.

Particularly when you’re trying to write.

Yes, thank you, Gwyneth.

Sigh. ;p

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