My pome by Tommy Donbavand: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely, but have fewer wasps. The end.
Archive > February 2009
Monster Valentine? Oh No!
I’m rather worried, guys. You know how the monster guarding my cell seems to be into poetry? Well, I’m rather shocked to discover he’s a bit of a romantic at heart. He’s been eyeing up a potential Mrs Blusterfart and he wants to send her something special for Valentine’s Day. He’s written this love poem to her [...]
VALENTINE’S STORY – Ali edit and monsters edit
It all started out so well. I’ve always wanted to write a romance, so when P Aggle Bananapits slurped up to me and asked for a love story for Valentine’s Day, I was actually quite happy, in spite of the monster wee lapping around my feet. So I wrote the beginnings of a lovely, lovely, [...]
Monster Sale, by Ronald Searle
Here’s something I just found in THE TERROR OF ST. TRINIAN’S AND OTHER DRAWINGS, by the wonderful Ronald Searle. I post it here as a two-fingered gesture of defiance at our monster jailers, who will never, repeat NEVER break our authorial spirits, no matter what they do to us! What? Ow! No… Get Off! No! [...]
Barry’s Writing Lesson #1
Compared to all my fellow captives in here, I am something of a novice when it comes to this whole writing malarkey. That said, I’ve been writing professionally in some capacity or other for the past 13 years, so I’ve picked up a few useful tips and tricks along the way. So in an attempt [...]
Just Read
I managed to sneak into the monsters’ staff room this evening as I’m tired of my personal jailer, Bumplop the Pungent, wiping my stale bread under his sweaty armpits to soften it up. There have to be some biscuits around here somewhere… It was there that I doscovered the monsters have access to certain websites [...]
BEACH OF BONES… AND BOOKS
I have suspected it for a while… and now I have found out the truth. These monster tunnels really do run all around the world. Nobody is safe! For the last few weeks, CornFlag the Vomit Master of the Lower Caverns has forced me to march along these endless tunnels. Stopping only to eat fish [...]
A Monstrous Rant
Too much monster gruel has made me tetchy. I feel a rant coming on. Why has nobody built an incredible monster-tracker contraption to seek us out and rescue us? Is it because creativity is withering in our nation’s schools? Yup, I’m going to stomp my foot and rant, right here, right now. Well, OK, not [...]
Monster Disguises and AN ANNOUNCEMENT!
OK, so judging by the number of messages I received containing guesses about the title of the final Jimmy Coates book, I can deduce three things: 1. There are more of you reading this blog than I thought. (In which case, why haven’t we been rescued yet? What possible other priorities could there be in [...]
