Trapped in a cave by monsters,
I’ve been stuck in here for yonksters,
I doubt I’ll ever taste fresh air again.

I’m feeling flippin’ famished,
Our food supplies have vanished,
These hunger pangs are driving me insane.

Andy’s arms are nice and white,
I might just have one bite,
To see if they’re as tasty as they look.

And if that stops my rumbling belly,
Well that will be just swelly,
Let’s see which of the others I can cook.

I’d eat Mark’s ears as snacks,
There’d be two in every pack,
And they’d come in cheese and onion or in plain.

Joe’s lungs might be too chewy,
And his spleen a little gooey,
I’d probably just feast upon his brain.

I could make a soup from Tommy,
Though it might be quite consommé-y,
I could thicken it with eyes and bits of heart.

Ali’s toes I’d eat in threes,
I’d just chuck them back like peas,
Though like beans I fear they might cause me to fart.

David’s fingers look delicious,
I’d serve them up in little dishes,
They’d crunch each time I bit one clean in two.

Poor Sam I’d just devour,
It’d take me several hours,
After that I’d come and start to chew on YOU!

Oh I hope they bring some food,
For it would be rather rude,
To eat my fellow captives up like pork.

But there’s no-one on the way,
With my dinner on a tray,
Oh well, that’s it, can someone pass the fork?

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