I read Ali’s post about her trip to Portsmouth central library the other day with glee – she was let out for a taste of fresh air, the chance to meet her fans, and an up-to-the-minute 1950s hair-do. However, when I spotted her monster bodyguard behind her in the picture, my blood ran cold… I [...]
Archive > February 2009
Charmed, I’m Sure
This morning I found these guys climbing up my leg: The big one looks a bit surprised, doesn’t he? Not as surprised as I was, especially when I remembered that I’d actually seen something almost identical in a book once. I checked the monster archives, and there it was: FANTASTIC ILLUSTRATIONS OF GRANDVILLE, as published [...]
The Rescue Attempt – Part 4
From TBM Guest Blogger, Elizabeth Kay… There was a lot of snow in Poland when I arrived to pursue my quest, which was to consult another monster about the best way of rescuing the authors trapped in the cave. In fact, it snowed every single day I was there. The monster I went to see [...]
The Papplewick Escape…
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel! However, it really was a train. Once the monsters had pushed me aside from the track (where I witnessed one of the beasts get hit by the locomotive and turned into instant slimy porridge) we emerged near the pristine lawns of Papplewick School in Ascot. Evening [...]
TIGHTLY CONTROLLED BY MONSTERS
Oh – I thought I had it all planned. I had hardened my heart and decided. Even if the lives of seven top children’s authors were in the balance, and even if I was in stupid high heeled shoes and dressed up like a maiden aunt from the 1950s – I was going to [...]
Eek!
I wonder if there is some kind of breeding programme in here? I shudder at the thought. I came across dozens of these giant nesting boxes. It can’t be, I thought, until this face suddenly popped out from one of them.
A Poem About Food
Trapped in a cave by monsters, I’ve been stuck in here for yonksters, I doubt I’ll ever taste fresh air again. I’m feeling flippin’ famished, Our food supplies have vanished, These hunger pangs are driving me insane. Andy’s arms are nice and white, I might just have one bite, To see if they’re as tasty [...]
Airman
As a long-standing fan and advocate of Eoin Colfer’s Artemis Fowl series, I was excited to discover a copy of his newest standalone novel, Airman, on the monsters’ shelves. So, finding myself a comfy pile of something brown and gooey to sit in, I settled down to read. My first realisation was that Airman is [...]
Are Zebras Monsters?
I was escorted out of the cave at dawn yesterday with a leather bag over my head. After several hours of disorientating movement, it was finally removed and I was horrified to see two things. First, the leather bag was in fact the scrotal pouch of the monster escorting me. The smell is still burning [...]
Where are all the happy monsters?
Joe’s post on ‘What is a monster?’ really got me thinking. Where are all the furry happy monsters? All the ones I’ve seen in here have been of the slimey, warty, seriously icky variety – no offence, monsters, but you are! Where are the happy, fluffy monsters that I loved so much as a youngster? [...]
