You know what, I’m feeling pretty stupid right now.  I should have pieced all this together ages ago, but it’s like my mind has been put to sleep, or something.  The monsters have clearly been planning to get me for a long time!  I should have realised I was on their hit list when I was confronted by snakes in Dakar!  (Snakes are monsters in my book, and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.)

Then there was the incident in the bar in Brisbane.  If that wasn’t an attempt by the monsters then … well, perhaps we’d better gloss over Brisbane for now.

But then I remembered the photographic evidence.  Last year a killer monster snow goon nearly caught my daughter in our back garden.  When it chased her I thought it was just out to munch on the first child it came across, but now I know differently.  It wasn’t after her at all!  It was after me.  I just had time to snap this picture before legging it indoors and returning to blast it with my wife’s super powerful, ultra hot hairdryer through the kitchen window … Oh, darn!  There I go sticking my foot in my mouth again!  I guess it’s mushed beetles, pink snot and loo roll for tea again.

Attack of the Monster Killer Snow Goon!

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