I shouldn’t be here.
Now before you all start giving it “nor should we”, let me explain.
It seems that we’ve been kidnapped on the basis that we have created some stories in which monsters have – how can I put this – received something of a raw deal. A sword through the eye in one case. Deal’s don’t come much rawer than that.
But hold your horses there – I haven’t harmed a single monster in any of my books. Oh, sure, I’ve kicked the snot out of a few aliens in my Ben 10 books, but aliens are not monsters. They are aliens. The clue’s in the name.
And yes, now I think about it I may cause the sudden and abrupt deaths of several hundred million monsters in the last book of my upcoming horror series, but I won’t be writing that book until half way through 2011! What, is this some kind of pre-emptive strike or something? If so, I think it’s very unfair. You can’t imprison me for a crime I am yet to commit!
Oh, yeah, but you can imprison me solely on the basis that you’re monsters and so don’t adhere to a legal system of any description. Fair point, well made. Don’t hurt me!
Actually, now I come to think about it, I did blow up a Minotaur once. Blow up as in “exploded”, I mean. I don’t mean I blew up it. That would be weird.
So … er … I suppose it’s a fair cop. I’ll just sit here and be quiet, shall I?
20/01/2009 at 12:04 am Permalink
If you think you’ve got a raw deal, what about me? I’ve never harmed a monster or an alien or even so much as an errant wildebeest. All the bad guys in my books are completely HUMAN. In fact, it’s the hero who’s not entirely what he seems. The monsters should be THANKING me!
20/01/2009 at 10:31 am Permalink
It’s the company you keep Joe. And the fact that you had rashly agreed to write that big monster anthology with us in our remote luxury hideaway hotel. The monsters could see that the rot was setting in…