Eeek!  What is this place?  *Must remember training.  Must remember training!*

Name: Mark Robson

Number: 8028871K

Rank: Umm … civilian

Date of Birth: 27 May 66

Pssst!  Guys, guys … you haven’t been telling them stuff, have you?  Remember the Geneva Convention.  Don’t give them anything they can use against you.  What?  They haven’t heard of the Geneva Convention?  I suppose that makes sense, them being monsters and all.  Don’t they have an equivalent?  You know a sort of Prisoners of Monsters’ Code, or something.

So what is it we have to do?  Write stuff for youngsters.  And in return they will … feed us toilet roll.  Did I get that right?  Not sure I’m too keen on that, but then I’m less keen on being eaten by ice worms, so I guess I have little choice until I can figure a way out of here.

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