HOTDOGS

20 January 2009 By Andy Briggs 1 In Help!

Finally, a chance to blog.

For several days I have been keeping a low profile to figure out what these beasties really want. One of them has had its beady eye on me the whole time. He has the head of a snake, the body of a snake, and the legs of a snake. It’s like nothing I have ever seen before – but that is just a pet of Grizzworg the Fartnose – a multi-headed blob who appears to be my personal jailer.

I watched as they escorted Joe outside for his school visit and I heard torturous screams from Tommy as they made him eat cold sprouts. Theses monsters have no sense of mercy.

When all was quiet, I managed to explore the cold damp caves. I trudged quite far, and after an hour, I stopped at a river of molten cola. A four-foot tall marshmallow told me that the caves ran all around the world, allowing the monsters to take us anywhere. The tunnel I was standing in had a distinct smell of hotdogs – but I haven’t changed my socks since I’ve been here so they may have been the culprits. The marshmallow also warned me not to drink from the cola stream as it causes hallucinations.

Occasionally I found a signal for my mobile phone. It was just enough to call my editor to ask her what she thought of my latest draft of “Villain.net 3: Power Surge” – then the signal was lost before I remembered to tell her I might not be able to make any changes as I am trapped by monsters.

Thinking about it, maybe I should have called the police or the special monster busting hotline that Baz gave me, but I’ve been down here for so long I’ve already forgotten those phone numbers.

I found my way back to the group by following Ali’s boisterous rendition of “Jump Around” appropriately by “House of Pain”. I didn’t know she could rap so well.

During my exploration I constantly heard scurrying behind me but couldn’t see anything, so I took a picture on my mobile – and consequently blinded myself for twenty minutes with the flash.

I didn’t like what was following me.