I snuck out the cave again today. The monster let me out to go to another school. Was I not good enough the first time? They’re making me entertain their monster cousins and pass on all my writing tips.
Anyway, at Nescot College in Epsom I met 187 specimens of a whole new breed of monster. Now I’m back in the cave I’ve consulted my little ‘Guide to Monster-Spotting’ that I happened to have on me when we were all abducted. According to the grainy images in the identification guide, this lot are of the type known in the trade as ‘Year Tens’.
Some of them were very big.
But, as monsters go, they were pretty polite, enthusiastic, and they didn’t smell too bad. They even came up with some good story ideas, including an army of exploding penguins that force Jimmy Coates to choose between his beloved wife, Denise, and his trusty sidekick, Little Jimmy.
That doesn’t sound like the plot I had in mind for book 8, but oh well.
Apparently I’m being let out again tomorrow to meet the monsters in a school hidden away in a mystical land I thought only existed in my nightmares: Maidstone, Kent.
[Edit: I don't actuallyreallyhonestly think Maidstone is nightmarish. It's a very nice place, as I've been reminded several times in the few minutes since this post first appeared. It's really amazing how many people got in touch so quickly about this! You Maidstoners are obviously proud of your neighbourhood. And rightly so. Because you live in a great place. A dreamland of pleasures, I might even call it.]
If I make it back alive, I’ll let you know how it goes.
Of course, I could try to escape for good…
[Another edit: the monsters are onto me. They've implanted a tracking device into my ankle. If I do anything except some straight back to this cave after my school event tomorrow they'll make it explode. I don't want my ankle to explode. I like my ankle.]
21/01/2009 at 9:03 pm Permalink
Exploding penguins? Brilliant! Team them up with Sam’s vomiting bats, and I think we’re onto a winner!
21/01/2009 at 9:17 pm Permalink
Hey Joe – why is Maidstone so nightmarish? lol. You came to our school (Holmesdale) which is right next to Maidstone, and Maidstone is where I live, so you can stop being so cheeky! ;-0
21/01/2009 at 9:25 pm Permalink
Sorry! Yes, I’ve been to Maidstone many times. It’s actually lovely. It’s so obviously lovely I thought I could get away with saying it was nightmarish, hoping my ironic shrug would somehow translate itself onto the screen. Turns out that doesn’t work. Sorry again!
21/01/2009 at 9:48 pm Permalink
Don’t worry Caroline, there’s a savage Wildebeest here just waiting to bite him on the leg for his cheek.
Okay, I know a Wildebeest isn’t a monster, but it sounds like it should be.
22/01/2009 at 1:56 am Permalink
That green and yellow one who brings our breakfast likes your ankle, too. I saw her looking at it this morning…
22/01/2009 at 3:15 am Permalink
Don’t worry too much you have another ankle , so its not so bad really.